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  1. #1
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    Jun 2011
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    Default Pregnant and having violent dreams...

    Ahhhhh so I’m pregnant, and the dreams I’ve been having mostly have to do with past drama… I know they’re from stress, from a tumultuous relationship with my step-dad (ex step-dad) He cheated on my mom and left her for the other woman about two years ago, but I haven’t spoken to him since so it’s hard to “work through” any of the crap that happened. Before he left, for weeks he wouldn’t admit any wrong doing, then EVENTUALLY fessed up, and packed his stuff while in a drunken rage, and went to live with the other woman. Well the night he was leaving, I went to their house and took back the dog that had been mine since 8th grade–i’d always wanted to take her back, but he was extremely possessive of her… well I took her anyways, she was my dog, and he was extremely abusive towards her. Well he didn’t like that at all. Hours later that night, he came back to my mother’s house with a gun, looking for the dog. Cops got called, and they didn’t even arrest him, just told him to get a ride from a sober driver and leave!!!?? Since then, he has called my mother’s house and cell phone repeatedly, threatening to make sure “bad things happen” to us if he doesn’t get his dog back… cops got called….but nothing. Plus it doesn’t help that my mother for some reason is desperately hanging onto him, she doesn’t forgive him, but refuses to do little things like change her phone number to avoid these things. He threatened me for over a year, and the worst part was he lived less than a mile from me the entire time. I caught him several times driving through our neighborhood. I also have a 4 year old son who hasn’t seen him since either, and he doesn’t seem to care about that. Every threat is to give his dog back, and is intense, including repeating “give me my F%$^ING dog back”…"if you don't give me my f$%^king dog back--". so the DREAMS i’m having all have to do with him attacking me in some way, coming after me with a weapon, and me trying to hurt him back. sometimes it’s the failed attempts that are the worst, i try to defend myself, and what ever weapon i’m using falls short, or I can’t swing it hard enough, or the gun doesn’t go off…. then the dreams last even longer… they go on and on until I finally find a way to kill him, or I just wake up with the dream unresolved, which sometimes is worse. i just want them to stop. but confronting him isn’t a possibility—i now live 2 states and 100's of miles away from him and have absolutely no contact with him, or my mother, for various reasons. He hasn’t threatened me in a while not knowing my phone number or address, but it doesn’t stop the dreams. And now, because I’m pregnant, they’re getting more intense. I can remember every single detail about them, even weeks later. I hate it. And I still have so much rage inside towards him, but “resolving” this issue is impossible. WHAT THE HELL DO I DO!??! How can I sway my dreams to not ‘go there’?!?

  2. #2
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    Oct 2006
    Michigan, U.S.A.
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    Default Re: Pregnant and having violent dreams...

    Hello, Demanda.

    Resolving isnt as easy as going to confront him, its not coming from him, its coming from you. The dreams will get worse, because the path to resolving them you havent found yet. Since you have another concern on the way your going to become even more concerned about those issues. Fear is the biggest factor on nightmares, things we dont understand coming across in a way we have trouble with, because of troubles. Peace is a frame of mind, though you have to be tought how to have peace of mind. Confronting the situation wont make it better, and you most likley did the right thing by moving and changing your phone number. Its protection, and no one can blame you for that. I wont, and no one else will either. You cant reason with him, it wont work, and he being possesive will only make matters worse.

    You heard of the word senero right. That word has a lot of meaning because everyone, and every reason has one. A criminal is a criminal befitting the crime. Even a trial by jury, they will teach the jury what to look for in certain crimes, because the human pattern is identical within each case. Thats because the human mind is set up by its genetic code, told how to grow from the time it was concieved, and in a certian pattern for a male, or another for a female. The seed for discovery are planted within the mind, so the mind will be able to discover what is sees being done or said, and duplicate it. Everyone on this earth has a basic personality, one for men, another for women based on our purpose in live, to provide or to raise children. Its what we choose to do with our minds that make us different, depending on the purpose or our chosen path like a profession. But for the most part we all think alike, have the same feeling for the same reasons as other people. If we can put ourselves in their shoes, we can learn what its like to be them by going through the same things.

    The trauma of the mind comes when we say what we wont be like based on our odepal parent. The odepal parent is the opposite sex, and normally the way we choose our life partner. If the trauma is to sever as a child, and we say to many things to ourselves about how we are going to be when we grow up, it becomes a lie, and our minds know it based on the genetic codes of the mind. Since we dont know this is a lie, we over react because we have become sensitive to those traumas, and have become aware of them, to learn to fear them, and then our mind has to shock us out of it by placing us back into the same situation. This proving our lie was wrong, but the problem with that is the trauma needed to shock someone out of the lie, is far worse. Our minds will set us up for this to happen again. This is the reason why a person can be hit in the head and loose theyre sight, because they told themselves a lie, only to be hit in the head years later and get theyre sight back. The original thoughts about what to look out for in life became a lie. That happens to criminals also, they reacting to what they believed, but the trauma to change that after time becomes a terible price to pay.

    This exorsize should help. You write down every bad thing your opposite sex parent did to you, or all opposite sex parents. Then you write the thought you had when they did that to you, what you decided you were not going to be like next to that. It may take time to remember. Then you write down every person you had a relationship with on the same paper, and theyre bad attributes, or personality flaws, and what you should see is a resemblance between them, because your mind always wants to resolve the problems, by putting you back in the same situations. Funny how that works huh? So its better to let it all go, and find a decent and good example to go by. All problems from childhood are no longer the fault of the parents, because we have a responsability to ourselves to grow and learn.

    The problem with drinking or drugs, it they stunt the growth of the mind, and stops the person from learning, they may only have the mind of a eighteen year old, but their blame is intensified. What problems they had before you knew them they carry around with them always remembering, and always blaming as though its not theyre fault. Its much more easy to blame others, than it is to blame yourself, and the problem with that example is its much more easy to copy by seeing it done, and much harder to get over because we copy what we see. After spending some time with yourself, and figuring out what i said, should help you out alot, stoping the dreams as they are, is up to you.

    Peace and love in Jesus.

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