Okay, this was disturbing enough that I went online to find information but my search is coming up short and I can't find a discussion anywhere about this so I thought I would try here.

Lucid dreaming I can find plenty on. But not only was I aware that I was dreaming, I was also aware, in my dream, that I needed to wake up, which is the disturbing part.

Here is the whole story. Always dream in colour and have very good dream memory. I actually often recall older dreams, sometimes at random, often from long ago. I also have an excellent internal body clock and rarely get woken by my alarm clock.

I was woken last night, I think, by loud music outside the house. I've been sleeping in my basement to escape from external noise - I'm a light sleeper - and I still heard something I suspect was a car stereo. I went upstairs to see, and I did see some headlights and heard a loud car engine revving, aout 3 or 4 am, so that was consistent with a car stereo - I suspect some noisy neighbour was just getting home. I opened my front door to see if I could hear a bit better. It is well below zero and half a foot of snow outside, so I didn't venture out onto the step.

Went back to bed. A bit later I was back in my living room and I opened the front door; it was bright out, but the lawn, sidewalk and front road had all been replaced by astroturf as far as the eye could see, right up to the neighbours houses. The snow was gone, and I realized I was dreaming. When I realized I was dreaming, I started to tell myself that I needed to wake up, as it was time for work. At this point, though, I started struggling to wake up, inside the dream - fighting to regain consciousness. This is hard to describe, but it felt like a physical conflict, and was quite disturbing as it lasted several seconds and there was some actual doubt as to the outcome.

When I awoke there was a clear memory of the dream, and the events at the front door, looking at the "astroturf" had seemed real. They had been preceded by obvious dream sequences which involved fantasy elements of discussion about building an addition to the porch, moving iron pipes inside the home, talking to my neighbour, but the house did not appear "real"; it was only when I started to become aware that I was dreaming that the experience took on a real - lucid? - quality. This was not disturbing, but the struggle to gain consciousness was.

Where can I go to read more about the struggle to awake? I tried an online search but probably didn't use the correct terms. I found articles on sleep paralysis but that was not what I experienced.