really odd dream....should i call my ex now?

[momo123]

last night i had the strangest dream.

i was picking up my godson @ my ex's house and all of a sudden my ex's sister asks me to come out of the car and take a walk with her....that she had something to tell me. puzzled as to what she wanted, i reluctantly got off the car convinced that we were finally gonna box.(needless to say, she was really rude to me after our breakup)

but then something odd happened. she started talking....like, from the heart. she told me that me and my ex breaking up was all just an elaborate scheme... that she and her mother worked to tear us apart because my ex's love for me was causing a rift between he and his family. he fought with his mom too much about me...they felt like i was "taking him away too soon"....so my ex's mother and sister decided to tear me apart...paint me in a bad light so to speak. they plotted against me. they mercilessly talked **** about me to the family. they said an did all sorts of terrible things to ultimately cause a rift between me and my then-boyfriend. to make him question me and put a strain on our already rocky relationship. she told me that she and her mom put ideas in his head about me and conspired to end our relationship. they started saying how i was expecting him to marry him and a lot of other things that just weren't true in regards to my feelings toward him and what i wanted for us.

but all this i kind of already figured out....i sort of had an idea that that was going on when and i split. albeit not to this degree of course, but her confession wasn't exactly new news to me.

until she continued on....

she told me that they (she and her mom) thought getting rid of me would solve the problem. he would leave me and have more time with his family+friends...be happy, stay @ home, and ultimately find a nice little mexican girl who was the perfect little home maker and would stay home all day and make him beans and tortillas for him whenever he wants. but they were both wrong. none of that happened.

she told me that he's not the same...that he does go out with his friends and family, but something's missing. he doesn't smile the same way. that yeah, he's gone out with girls....but he always finds an excuse to not call them back. she said that she and her mom have noticed it now more than ever...that it's gotten really bad. that he doesn't go out with his friends anymore. the few girls that were calling him and trying to holla @ him have all gotten the hint that he's not interested.

and she thinks it has something to do with me....and what happened between he and i. she said she thinks he feels bad about the way things ended up....and that that guilt has been one of the reasons he hasn't gotten attached to anyone new. she said she never saw him happier than the times he was with me and that both she and her mom feel pretty bad. they didn't think he would still be like this...they thought that he would get over it+move on with someone 'better suited' for him...but they're starting to realize that that might not happen. we're both getting older.

then she stopped me. we stopped walking and she pulled out like this stick....it was like a long stick key thing. kinda like the shocks on a car. it was spiraled. she gave it to me and told me that her mom felt awful about the whole thing and wanted me to have it. she said it's like a key that all the women in the family receive once they become 'offically' a part of it thru marriage. she said his mom and grandmother both have one that his mom wanted me to have one now.

i know this was a dream...but i could see myself. i had a very surprised look on my face and couldn't believe what i was hearing...i always thought my ex's mom didn't approve of me and for her to give me this sort of symbolic family thing really took my breath away. i didn't know what to think. but it was clear in his sister's face....she was very serious and this was something she and her mom had been discussing for a while. she extended the key to me and i took it.

with the key in hand, i walked up to my ex's apartment and knocked on the door. the dream ended with the two of us taking a walk and talking. i dont know what was said....i just sort of saw the backs of our bodies walking together down the street.

i think it's impt to note that when i woke up from this dream....for the first time in almost a year, i woke up...and had no ill feelings toward my ex. i FINALLY felt resolution with him+the way we ended+our relationship now. i didn't feel angry or bitter toward him anymore...i kind of felt like an open-ness to hear his side...to hear how he truly felt about the situation. i got the impression that i was finally gonna get that now that so much time has passed....that he wasnt going to talk or treat me the same cold way he did when he broke up with me. that he wanted to explain what happened and what's been going on in his life. and that i listened to everything....and was ok.

this dream really got to me because i haven't seen nor heard from my ex in almost a year. i live everyday thinking that this man, who once put me at the center of his world, no longer gives 2 shits about me or anything having to do with me. and as much as that hurts me sometimes...it's the reality i've created for myself. it allows me not to dwell on it because i know if i think about him or our situation too much i will call him && that's something i haven't wanted to do.

he hurt me so incredibly badd and never even looked back. i only had 1 conversation with him after we broke up...and from that conversation i thought things would be okay with us. i thought we would be friends and still be in each other's lives....but i broke down one night and did something pathetic and he pulled the plug on that idea real quick. soon after he began ignoring my calls, texts, etc.

and that's how it's been for the past year. i read something online that said to always consider the context of your dreams....why i'm having it now...what's going on in my life right now to make me have this dream etc and i can see whyit came to me now. i'm about to graduate college. he graduated college last year. we're approaching the 1 year mark of being split from each other. i've found someone that i might (in the future) consider starting a relationship with. i get why i had this dream now.

but what's the purpose? am i really supposed to put aside how much he hurt me and make the effort to connect with him, yet again? i don't want to be ignored anymore. even tho it hurts, i've been fine living in my whole 'he doesnt care about me anyway' world....it's allowed me to try not to care about him as well. the way i see it....if he hasn't made the effort @ this point, why should i?

one of the last things i said to him was to call me when he's ready to be friends. so far, i haven't received that call.

but is this a dream a sign? should i forget what i said and make the attempt? help.

[dreampoet]

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. Let me tell you my take on your dream. This is a wish fulfillment dream. This dream is about what you wish would happen. And from what I read in your posting, if you were to go to him once more, you would only be setting yourself up to be hurt even more. I wish I could tell you call him for your dream is divine providence, but love it is not so. I think the best thing for you to do is to let him go, let it go.

Let me tell you this, when a man truly loves a woman, he will do anything for her, and he would never treat her beneath contempt. You do not need to beg for anyone's love my dear, no man, no person is worth that.

I will not lie to you and tell you that the letting go process is easy. There are going to be days when you think you have forgiven him and other days when you will curse him and wish you never met him. This process will go on for a long time. For when you truly love somebody, you don't just get over it overnight. You must accept the fact that he has moved on and you must too for your own good. Take one day at a time. I know this not what you wish to hear, but take it from me, this is what you need right now...a good dose of reality.


Truth is life is too short to waste your energy on someone who doesn't appreciate you. You are too valuable. Save yourself for better days, for rest assured...they will come.


Love and light to you always,


Dreampoet

[Ametista]

I would say your ex is weak, and you should be glad it ended when it did. Find somebody who doesn't allow their mom/sister/aunt/or any other female relative to interfere with his realtionships.