Need help analyzing....dream for many years about ex?

[felicity]

I am 28 female who dated a man in highschool. He was my first and we ended up breaking up. I met a man that I ended up having two kids with and had major problems with and we were on and off for many years but during this time I would have many vivid dreams about my ex (chad).
So I decided to call him and we ended up dating and then I left him again thinking he wasnt the right one. well I did this many times and the last time I seen chad I ended up getting pregnant and he ended up being incarserated so I broke it off and didnt end up having the baby.
I told him after the fact what happend and he wanted to meet with me and have a couple drinks. This man is now very religious and didnt mind my two kids. The problems is I keep having dreams about him to the point where I wake up crying and feel the need to contact him. The last dream I had I wrote him a letter and gave him my email address and we talked and he wanted to meet but I wasnt sure I was ready and just wanted to tell him I was sorry and make sure he was ok. which he said he accepted my appology and that he wanted to meet again.
I just woke up having another dream about this man. I cant remember all of it but I remember seeing his face and him coming to me and putting his arms around me and just holding me.
Does anyone know what this means? Im new to this site but had to find someone who could maybe help me....

[pikka]

You are 28 and rushing from one thing to another. Slow down.

Some people become religious to keep themselves in line and it may or may not work. Some people have a real experience of something caring for them and it stays with them. Some people become religious and just use their previous meanness in a new and rigid way. In what way is he religious?

Substance problems? Do you really need another child to worry about (him).
So many women care about troubled men, but that doesn't make for equal partnership. And him not caring about your kids doesn't mean he's good with children. You are looking for a sense of "home" I'll bet. We all do. Best ones are the one's we make ourselves.

When we really grow up, we look at where we are, what age our children are, what is needed, not some left over from an idea of "what we've always wanted".People need a reality check I think. Often we find we've outgrown something but not having given it a reality check, we think we still are interested, only to find out we aren't. For what was he incarcerated?
Some things are understandable. Somethings are a complete deal breaker.
There are a lot of potential partners out there. And we don't have to have one all the time at all. Just remember a very high percentage of child abuse takes place at the hands of "boyfriends" and stepparents of both sexes.
FIRST, YOUR CHILDREN.

If there are any substances involved, you or them, alcohol, pills, drugs of any
kind, it is a waste of time and effort to start, wish for, want, try anything.
How can anyone tell anything when their mind is rewired away from reality.