Violence leads to violence leads to violence...

[Wednesday]

All last night, I kept waking up from one nightmare and then falling back asleep only to have another one. A few times, I even had a nightmare within a nightmare... But, this one stood out the most, particularly because it was so personal and so violent:


I was at home. My mom was angry/upset/depressed about something and was acting like a psycho about it. Instead of yelling or complaining or even moping around like a martyr like she usually does, she was taking it out on innocent animals: specifically, in the dream, she was in her bathroom with the door open, in a sort of trance-like state, slicing the heads off of live frogs over the sink. (note: in real life, she's angry much of the time, but never ever violent towards animals).
Anyway, I was extremely disturbed by this, tears streaming down my face, horrified by what I was witnessing and trying to get her to stop. I stood in the kitchen trying to think of what to do and watching her in disgust (you can see her bathroom from the kitchen).
Then, my dad comes in and starts shouting how disgusting it is (I'm still standing rigid in shock over it all). My mom is so involved in what she's doing that she doesn't pay him any attention. He yells out "I've HAD it!", grabs an axe, walks up behind her and starts hacking away at her head and back.
I'm even more horrified to see this, and start thinking that I might have to kill my dad in order to stop all the violence and start clean...

--

The above scene begins to replay over and over (probably two to four times, though I wasn't counting).
From the second "replay" on, I know exactly how the scene is to play out. I start struggling with what to do: do I kill my dad before he can kill my mom? Do I let him kill my mom and then kill him, to end all the violence? Do I kill them both before any of this happens? Do I not do anything?
Each time, though, I spend so long wondering what to do, that the scene plays out over and over. And each time my dad goes to kill my mom, she duplicates and he kills her copy even more violently.

Each time this happens, I grab a kitchen knife and get closer and closer to killing my dad to stop it all... but I woke up in horror before I actually followed through with the act.



I'm absolutely horrified by this dream, and even more horrified and disgusted in myself for having a brain that could dream something like this in the first place...
I've had gratuitously violent dreams in the past (and even dreams that were more vivid and detailed and gory than this one)...but this one was just so personal that I'm ashamed to even look into either of my parents faces after having this one.

Any thoughts or interpretations on this are welcome.

[Wolfjk]

Originally Posted by Wednesday

All last night, I kept waking up from one nightmare and then falling back asleep only to have another one. A few times, I even had a nightmare within a nightmare... But, this one stood out the most, particularly because it was so personal and so violent:


I was at home. My mom was angry/upset/depressed about something and was acting like a psycho about it. Instead of yelling or complaining or even moping around like a martyr like she usually does, she was taking it out on innocent animals: specifically, in the dream, she was in her bathroom with the door open, in a sort of trance-like state, slicing the heads off of live frogs over the sink. (note: in real life, she's angry much of the time, but never ever violent towards animals).
Anyway, I was extremely disturbed by this, tears streaming down my face, horrified by what I was witnessing and trying to get her to stop. I stood in the kitchen trying to think of what to do and watching her in disgust (you can see her bathroom from the kitchen).
Then, my dad comes in and starts shouting how disgusting it is (I'm still standing rigid in shock over it all). My mom is so involved in what she's doing that she doesn't pay him any attention. He yells out "I've HAD it!", grabs an axe, walks up behind her and starts hacking away at her head and back.
I'm even more horrified to see this, and start thinking that I might have to kill my dad in order to stop all the violence and start clean...

--

The above scene begins to replay over and over (probably two to four times, though I wasn't counting).
From the second "replay" on, I know exactly how the scene is to play out. I start struggling with what to do: do I kill my dad before he can kill my mom? Do I let him kill my mom and then kill him, to end all the violence? Do I kill them both before any of this happens? Do I not do anything?
Each time, though, I spend so long wondering what to do, that the scene plays out over and over. And each time my dad goes to kill my mom, she duplicates and he kills her copy even more violently.

Each time this happens, I grab a kitchen knife and get closer and closer to killing my dad to stop it all... but I woke up in horror before I actually followed through with the act.



I'm absolutely horrified by this dream, and even more horrified and disgusted in myself for having a brain that could dream something like this in the first place...
I've had gratuitously violent dreams in the past (and even dreams that were more vivid and detailed and gory than this one)...but this one was just so personal that I'm ashamed to even look into either of my parents faces after having this one.

Any thoughts or interpretations on this are welcome.

Hi,
Your subconscious mind does not have anguage of it's own, so it has to use allusions, concepts ambience to show you what is going on in your sleep.
There are several pointers to how you felt in the dream why there was a need for this extreme violence.

My mom was angry/upset/depressed about something and was acting like a psycho about it

The above quote describes how you felt in the sleep. What are you depressed and angry about?

I stood in the kitchen trying to think of what to do and watching her in disgust (you can see her bathroom from the kitchen).

When a dream mentions "kitchen" or food, it is caused by digestion problems. You eaten something that made you feel really ill. In cases where there are digestion problems, the subconscious creates dreams that take the mind off the problem. If you're tired or depressed over something and need the sleep and time to heal badly, the subconscious creates a dream that takes up all your attentition. You have no time to think of your aches and pains because they are projected onto the objects of your dream: the frogs, your mum and your dad!
Don't upset yourself over your dreams. You may have a food allergy.
However you do have an issue with your mum and dad. They do get at you for some reason. Look into your heart! Are you to blame? are you causing rucktion in the family with some aspect of your behaviour?
Cheers Wolfjk

[IrisRavenstar]

Hi Wednesday,

I'm picturing the daughter in the Adam's family here! Or "Wednesday's child is full of woe." If your family is fighting as much as this dream seems to suggest, I can see why!

Frogs are fertility symbols, especially the male side of fertility. The princess kisses the frog, trying to beget a prince. The male plants his seed, and little pollywogs go swimming into the womb to fertilize the egg. Your mom beheading the frogs sounds like she's so angry at your father, she wants to castrate him, like that Loreena Bobbitt did to her husband a few years ago. She wants to take away his male power, and it sounds as if she might have good reason, as your father is just as violent, attacking her with an axe.

Dreams tend to exaggerate events to get our attention, so hopefully, it's not really as bad as this dream makes it look!

I noticed you are 21. I wonder if you still live at home, and if so, might it be time to get out on your own? Walking out of a vicious circle at least breaks it for the one walking away. Maybe getting some counseling would be good too, to avoid repeating this whole mess when you get married?

All best... I hope things work out for you!