deceased mother

[surfmtt7]

backstory- my mother died about 2 weeks ago as a result of cancer... well she had a tumor in her leg and her stomach was bloated causing her to look somewhat pregnant before she passed. My mother and father divorced when i was 14 and i am 1 of 4 kids.. soo:

As i was dreaming last night i was somewhere i didnt recognise, maybe a train station or something.. i noticed a familiar woman so i went over to check it out, and it was my mother. she was pregnant and i asked her why she left, as if she hadnt actually died, but rather ran away and left her family and friends. It was as if i had caught her trying to run away. So she answered that she left because the baby wasnt my fathers and she didnt want everyone knowing. after that i dont remember much, other than later on in the dream she turn to a ghost. Invisible, though i knew she was there, even where she was. she flew up to some blinds at a window, and i threw something at her, not as if to hurt her, but to get her to show herself.

I have no idea what to think about this, but it has gotten me completely distraught. any ideas?

[deacon377]

Well, dreams are you trying to rationalize something...
if she looked pregnant than that dream gave you an answer why, other than just a tumor.

Even though I am not a religious person, I do believe we exist somehow after death, and you do to...it sounds like its just your consciousness trying to reassure you that she will live on after this tragedy.

And I'm sorry to hear about your loss, loosing someone like your mother is a horrible thing.

[pikka]

Was one of the children not your father's? In which case that child might want to know, or not? Or has one of you thought that and she is just saying she is aware someone thought that. Hardly the end of life, but possibly the end of marriage.

[yomariva]

i was born in a culture where female infanticide was practiced couple of generations ago. people one knew and were compelled to respect for their age were infact people who 'might' have perpetrated such heinous acts. i lost one of my aunt's in very recent years and 'suspected' foul play. everytime i watch a movie about the holocaust i cannot tell you how horrible i feel. i feel so burdened.

all this which rises in us is sometimes the cosmic consciousness. sometimes one finds some life to be unfair and believes some of our loved ones carry some burdens we could rid them of but these are your feelings, let them come and let them go, thats all some feelings are, to explore one's own psyche, and thats how some dreams are. but then thats how i feel. i am yet to mature into free will :-)