I thinking about switching schools, Iam really afraid.

[spiro]

Iam not too popular at school. In fact everyone hates me. And I mean that realyl really literally. It all started when I liked different music then everyone else and they all made fun of me. Then they started to pick on me constantly fo dumb ridiculous things like the way I walk. Since then Ive gotten into the music they like and Ive correct my walking. But no matter what I do my bad reputation gets in the way of me makeing friends. I have friends that go to the same school I do. Ive known them since I was in kindergarden. Iam in 10th grade now. I want to switch schools but Iam afraid if I do I will grow apart from my friends. Iam also afraid that if I go to this school that I will get made fun of again. I know I wont make the same mistakes as last time. But I dont know anyone at this new school and sometimes people dont react good to new students. My current school has uniforms and I look terrible in them. And this new school also has uniforms. Will they make fun of me just because of the way I look? I dont know what to do. I cant stant being made fun of. Iam so afraid.

[exhaustedtraveler]

Wow - I remember going through something very similar in high school. My family moved a few times during jr. high, and so it was really hard to fit in and make friends with the pre-existing cliques. I was in one school for all of high school and I did make friends, but was also picked on a lot by the people who didn't like having someone new come into their circle. Nothing was correct to them: my clothes, hair, makeup, music, neighborhood. Even when I conformed to what I thought they wanted, they made fun of me for conforming.

It's been 10 years since I graduated and I've realized a few things - I don't know if you can take any comfort out of this or if it will answer your question, but here goes. 1) There are people out there who are mean because it makes them feel better about themselves or feel like they're in control of their own lives - I didn't know this at the time, but the girl who picked on me the most was lashing out because her father died. 2) There are people who are just plain mean for no reason other than they're horrible people. Don't waste your time on them, and don't let them get to you. 3) People become targets if they're insecure and second guess themselves - the mean people (regardless of why they're mean) sense this insecurity and exploit it. 4) REAL friends will help you build an insulation against the mean stuff - if they're the source of it then ditch them (as hard as it is) because they're only hurting you. Friends shouldn't do that to you. Real friends won't.

Basically, you need to look at yourself and see all the things that are wonderful about you - even the music and style they object to. If your friends are good, supportive friends then spend time with them and ignore the rest of those people. If they see they're not bothering you then they'll find someone else to be horrible to. But don't waste energy or heartache worrying about it because it only prevents you from enjoying where you're at and who you're with.

If your friends are the ones who are making you miserable, then maybe you could consider a new school, but seriously, it's hard to start over new. You should DEFINITELY consider new friends if that's the case, though. Friends are supposed to build you up, not tear you down. If they're horrible to you then they're not friends.

BUT - life after high school (yes, there is such a thing) is amazingly wonderful. I have made some incredible friends who don't expect me to fit into their idea of cool, and all the things that made people call me names in high school are the things that people respect in me now. Sometimes I think that I was just more mature than the people I was at school with and they didn't know what to do with it. Please know that as bad as it might get in high school that everyone else is also miserable and it gets better once you get out.

Last thing - everything I dealt with was in the realm of teasing and mild verbal taunting. If you're experiencing that plus any physical abuse (pushing, tripping, etc) or extreme verbal abuse (screaming, fighting, obscene name callling) - YOU SHOULDN'T PUT UP WITH THAT. No one deserves that. If that is the case, PLEASE talk to a school counselor to figure out what you can do about it, how you can file a formal complaint (to help build a case against the kids who are doing it). If you're being physically hurt, then switching schools should be an option you consider - the difficulty of getting adjusted to new people is worth it if you're not being assaulted at school every day.

Either way, please know you're not the only one going through something like this, and you don't have to cope with it alone. I am in no way trying to diminish what you're experiencing, but please know that it really does get better - you just have to learn to like who you are and embrace what interests you and know that sooner than you think you'll find other people with similar interests who will love you for yours.

I hope that helps...sorry it was so long.