Why do I enjoy imagining that I face death?

[Seiko]

so... a common scenario would be that I lie in my bed, thinking of a fantasy world where someone is holding a sword against my throat for one or another reason. lately it has often been because I am the villain who was just defeated by the hero... I don´t understand why, but I like to do that. I get a certain feeling from it... or it is actually more than one feeling. but I don´t know what those feelings are, why do I like them, do others have them as well, is it bad to have them? they cause no harm, but I am curious since I have done this frequently for several years now, often before I go to sleep. no I don´t have nightmares. also I am not afraid to die, but I do respect death and I know full well that it can frighten me... if it wants to. I am not suicidal in the least, and thinking of death has taught me how wonderful this world is, as well as the meaning of my life. but please, I want to know why I do this. so I would like to speak with someone...

[Wolfjk]

Originally Posted by Seiko

so... a common scenario would be that I lie in my bed, thinking of a fantasy world where someone is holding a sword against my throat for one or another reason. lately it has often been because I am the villain who was just defeated by the hero... I don´t understand why, but I like to do that. I get a certain feeling from it... or it is actually more than one feeling. but I don´t know what those feelings are, why do I like them, do others have them as well, is it bad to have them? they cause no harm, but I am curious since I have done this frequently for several years now, often before I go to sleep. no I don´t have nightmares. also I am not afraid to die, but I do respect death and I know full well that it can frighten me... if it wants to. I am not suicidal in the least, and thinking of death has taught me how wonderful this world is, as well as the meaning of my life. but please, I want to know why I do this. so I would like to speak with someone...

Hi,
It is you style of dreaming. The meaning of these dreams can only be understood by the dreamer. The subconscious uses your perception of, and preoccupation with death to create the dream that can control your sleep and wake you up when you had your rest.
Perhaps your nature tends toward the "M" of the SM oriented sexuality?
Cheers Wolfjk

[mr. Zim]

well first of all, its fun.
For me I like to imagine fighting and that can sometimes lead to what you do.
if it really helps, you should probably finish the scenario in your head. Another reason you might do it so much is because you like to feel a conflict, and the best way to resolve the conflict is to find out what happens next.
Maybe doing that will lead you to an answer that you like.
hope that helps.

[Seiko]

Originally Posted by Wolfjk

Hi,
It is you style of dreaming. The meaning of these dreams can only be understood by the dreamer. The subconscious uses your perception of, and preoccupation with death to create the dream that can control your sleep and wake you up when you had your rest.
Perhaps your nature tends toward the "M" of the SM oriented sexuality?
Cheers Wolfjk

thank you, but I don´t have these thoughts when sleeping... they are more like daydreams that I have either when I´m about to fall asleep or at full consciousness, so I don't think they have much interpretation value since my subconscious isn´t much involved at all.
what does "SM oriented sexuality" mean? perhaps I am uneducated, but I am also a virgin...

[Seiko]

Originally Posted by mr. Zim

well first of all, its fun.
For me I like to imagine fighting and that can sometimes lead to what you do.
if it really helps, you should probably finish the scenario in your head. Another reason you might do it so much is because you like to feel a conflict, and the best way to resolve the conflict is to find out what happens next.
Maybe doing that will lead you to an answer that you like.
hope that helps.

haha, yes it´s fun^_^
but how do I actually finish the scenario? I try to sometimes, but if I was killed that´s the end of story, which means I can´t go on "playing with death"... so it's mostly locked at the scene where I'm being threatened, except for conversing with the hero or whomever Death is nothing really happens... but thank you, makes me feel better to know I´m not the only one.

[Wolfjk]

Originally Posted by Seiko

thank you, but I don´t have these thoughts when sleeping... they are more like daydreams that I have either when I´m about to fall asleep or at full consciousness, so I don't think they have much interpretation value since my subconscious isn´t much involved at all.
what does "SM oriented sexuality" mean? perhaps I am uneducated, but I am also a virgin...

Hi,
Thanks for you reply.
Dreaming and daydreaming are closely related. When you're trying to go to sleep it is difficult to tell whether you're dreaming, daydreaming or still awake.
In another post you wrote this about yourself:

I don´t know if it´s of any importance, but I might have been a guy at some points in this one. that´s quite common for me though, I´m a tomboy.

Sexual orientation is imprinted in your character at some point in your childhood.
"S" for sadism, after De Sade; a person who likes to beat or humiliate others,
"M" for massochism, after Von Massoche; a person who likes to be beaten or humiliated.
Cheers Wolfjk

[Sowelu]

The Soul knows that it is only through death that one can experience new life.

Each death (inner/mental/spiritual) opens the human being to a new and more expansive level of Selfhood.

[hazelflame]

Sowelu,
Thats So funny that you say that, because I had just came to that Realization yesterday. Everytime we die (mentally, physically, spiritaully), its like we become more powerful with the spirit or holy ghost. We are connected in a way that we can never go back.

We are transformed for ever.

[Sowelu]

Awesome synch, hazelflame! Posting so rarely as I do, maybe this is a confirmation at both ends of the validity of the truism, as well as of it's timing.

[hazelflame]

Yes, I think that is so!