Dream of first girlfriend

[EnderX2]

Im married, with 2 kids, Im happy and working my way into a succesful life in investment. Ive had dreams about my first before but this one stuck out to me in a number of ways.

There was nothing surreal about this dream, I cant remember all the specifics, but i still lived in my house, my kids were present, everything was normal. For some reason my wife had to go out of town for a day. When she left, my ex was three with me.I missed her bad, and we kissed and made out passionatly, There was a lot of passion in the dream, but I refused to have sex with her. At least to that extent, even in my dream I respected my marriage. Toward the end of my dream, my wife was back, and my ex was the cashier girl at some kind of airport store. I purchased two videos, one of which I remember specifically was girls gone wild, (I dont know why, as I hate that series.It bores me). She rung me out, and I was wondering if she was going to say anything incriminating, (my wife was there with me). She said for this purchase you have to go around back. I complied and my wife went the other way to the cars. We kissed again and exchanged a few words. I only remember asking her "Could you ever fall in love with me again?" And she looked at me in my arms and said "yes". The only surreal part was the end.I dont know why but my friend was having a parralell experience the whole time.My friend in I walked along a long path back to the rooms with our wives in it.In this room, were caricatures of me,my wife, and my kids, as well as my friends family.I remember having the notion that my ex had drawn them or had them drawn. Then I woke up with the strangest feeling of guilt and wonder. can someone help me out with this a bit, sorry i couldnt go into more detail, but i have to go to work!

[Jennings]

Your dream is a complex one and not easily unravelled but, as you will know yourself, this other woman in your life, your ex, has touched a deep emotional chord which has left its impact on you. You have probably been finding that while you had difficulty living with her that equally it is difficult living without her. This has no reflection on your current marriage nor, indeed, your feelings for your wife. When you and your ex parted its impact on you was probably similar to a bereavement and if this seems a reasonably accurate description, then you are probably stuck at one of the levels of grief (just like losing a close member of your family) and hence the dream and its repetition. You have probably tried to suppress your feelings for your ex believing that it might be a form of disloyalty to your wife which it is not. The trouble with suppressing deep emotional wounding is that when least expecting it, it leaps back and grabs you by the jugular! Another downside to it is that it can hang around for years. As your marriage progresses the healing will continue. I will avoid suggesting to you how it might end but it will end. Try not to be too upset by those dream recurrences; if it proves nothing else, it does, however, give value to the existence of each of you so you are not just filling space in this old world of ours. You should value the experience of this relationship while you continue to progress through life. It sounds as if it was an interesting one in which she brought joy into your life. Many people never experience such deep affection for others. Love never dies although the object of your love may move out of your life but your love will always seek another focus and it has done in your wife. With the passing of time your wife will become your entire focus with no exceptions.

[Athanor]

One way of looking at your dream is to view it as showing an inner psychological state of mind, likely caused in some way by events the day before the dream. In this approach, your house and the kids would represent your overall personality with the hint of where this is going in its development if nothing is modified, i.e. the presence of the “kids” or growing parts of yourself.

Your wife would tend to symbolize your feeling personality, sensitivity, a sort of awareness of inner values and a commitment to them. In your dream, she was out of town for a day, likely symbolizing a strong but perhaps temporary shift in your overall outlook toward certain “illicit” values (first girlfriend).

For example, in general terms this could be a strong attachment to your outer job or some other all-consuming interest that sometimes doesn’t leave much room for being loyal enough to the spirit of personal relationships.

It’s possible that concentrating too much just on decision making at work etc. (the airport would lean towards being an image related to the intellect and thinking) may at times cause relationship values to be placed on the back burner, resulting perhaps in some guilt feelings from “knowing” that your outer wife and family may occasionally not be the true center of your values for example.

Your former girlfriend’s being employed at a retail outlet could mean that she sort of “serves” the materialistic side of things but again perhaps in a doubtful troublesome way which sometimes gets out of control (“Girls Gone Wild”).

You could try seeing what stands out most clearly about your friend that might be a trait which you share with him. This inner part of yourself apparently colludes with a drift toward “looser” values (parallel experience).

Perhaps the “long path” back to the room could be a sort of sketch of where this attitude could lead, that is, to a “caricature” of true development overall (ex is related to the creation of the caricatures in the room). The image of you, your wife and kids would normally represent overall an inner “family” that should come strongly together into a sort of “oneness”. Waking with a feeling of guilt could be related to the serious situation of possibly missing out on this coming together into “one” overall.

One view of dreams is that they continually attempt to balance out the ego’s often restricted view of things by revealing blind spots etc. and by trying to widen one’s outlook overall. By and large the aim of this is to help lead towards a fuller development of a person’s inherent potentials in the long term. So that’s why your dream might be apparently bringing up the topic of values because they are central to anyone’s basic direction in life.

However, without knowing much background information about you or what happened the day before the dream, these ideas might not fit your personal situation very well if at all, but hopefully they will provide some kind of useful stimulus in exploring your dream further.