Told to move out! Any insight?

[lilolehs]

Again, I was in my parents house. Usually, I'm living there, doing all the work, but it's not my house.

This time, my dad tells me I have to move out. (I haven't lived with my parents since I was 19 and am very independent. I haven't seen my mom since she died 16 years ago, or my dad in at least 9 years.)

I asked him why he always hated me so much and where was I supposed to go as a single mom with so many kids. I was a little mad.

It was a little upsetting. I have never relied on my parents or asked them for anything since I moved out in the early 80's. And quite frankly, I'm very tired of my issues with them affecting my life.

Some insight would surely be appreciated!

[gayeverrall@yahoo.co.uk]

Hi, something that came to mind...

You have moved out of your parents house but your dreams take you back there and so although you have moved out, for some reason you can't move on.

What I would look at in this dream is what kind of work you are doing there because it might give you some insights in terms of the symbolism of these tasks. Or do you feel that you made all the effort in the relationship?

Maybe these tasks that you are performing in a house that is not your own, you could be doing in your own house i.e. for yourself.

All the best
Gaye

[lilolehs]

Well, that's what's really wierd. More recently, the house is supposedly theirs, and it's the house I lived in during my teenage years, but somehow it's like the house I live in now, (which I only own half of -- my ex owns the other half) in that I know some of my equity is tied up in it and I'm responsible for everything and I'm taking care of them (like I take care of my kids). I really don't get it. It's my house, but I don't seem to have any authority in it.

I'll admit that I do have to vigilantly guard my boundaries with my ex (who does not live with me or pay the bills) and my kids.

The other thing is that I recently had tried to "move on" out of a relationship in which I was making all the effort. I'd cut it off, but had been unable to "move on". Could there be a connection?

[gayeverrall@yahoo.co.uk]

Hi, what stands out here is that there are 3 issues concerning the home.

The home you grew up in, the home you bought with your ex partner and the home you shared most recently with a loved one. Any triplicity will always demand our attention.

You put a lot into things. You do all the work and maybe you don't get the rewards you are due. You say you haven't the authority.

Authority is sovereignty which is self-possession. You might be giving yourself away too lightly by pleasing others and not yourself and to this extent giving territory or ground that you might be better served by defending.

The connection of late concerning moving on may be a repeating pattern conditioned by the original experience at home in your youth. We all have these frustrating patterns in our lives.

I wonder if maybe you haven't learned how to look after yourself because you were not looked after in the way you needed to be and so you could be over-compensating for others.

Be good to yourself
Gaye

[lilolehs]

Hmm. Well that's all worth mulling over. I'd have felt better if I was the one telling them to move out instead of the other way around...