Got called the wrong name

[Palm Tree]

I am very disturbed by a dream I had last night. It's extremely long, so I'll just tell you the relevant parts.

I was at a university at nighttime, trying to find this room I was supposed to be in. I was totally lost, and then I saw a red car with a man standing next to it. I asked him where the room was, but he just shrugged. I suddenly recognized him as that guy who (in real life) had pulled over in his red car and asked for my number. Horrified, I left quickly.

Later on, I found the right way, and I met up with a boy and girl who were also going that way. They were both nice and friendly. Then I realized the boy had his mate with him. It was that man again! I suddenly got very anxious, wondering if he'd recognised me or not. He was acting very sulky and strange.

Then we got into an elevator, and I got out at the basement where my room was. The guy and girl said friendly goodbyes which made me feel happy. Then the other man said sourly, as the elevator was going up, "Goodbye Mary-Lou." Mary-Lou is not my name, but a character from a movie, who I hate! I mean I really can't stand this character!! Why did I have her name in this dream?

Sorry it's so long, but what does it mean? Do I actually hate myself?? I never thought I felt like that before... Or does it mean I'm turning into Mary-Lou? I sure hope not!!!

In the dream, I knew he'd specifically used my name so that I would know he HAD actually remembered me, and I was supposed to feel bad then, for turning him down. So that was my real name in the dream, he hadn't got it wrong or something. Please help...

[Wolfjk]

Hi,
You must have been very upset by the man who asked for your number. So much that you were thinking about him in your sleep.
The dream tries to take your mind off him but he keeps popping up.

Then the other man said sourly, as the elevator was going up, "Goodbye Mary-Lou."

This is the waking part of the dream. When your subconscious fails to divert you from brooding on him, it wakes you with this annoying puzzle.
You should not worry about the dream. It uses the most effective method it can pick from your memory bank to construct a waking dream.
Cheers Wolfjk

[Athanor]

Especially when a dream is very upsetting, it’s usually best to have the whole dream along with a lot of background information about the dreamer in order to provide a reasonably accurate interpretation, but here are a few ideas about the possible meaning of your dream as based on some fairly consistent dream motifs.

The dreamer’s own memories and thoughts that occur in relation to any given image are very important in determining its true meaning, but in general terms, the university would tend to suggest the need to learn about an aspect of your personality (the room) about which you are currently “lost” and too unconscious about (night).

The man with the red car likely represents an inner figure who is controlling an area of your energy (car) characterized as “red”, possibly related to an outer show of feeling (red paint of car). This aspect of you may seem threatening because it might perhaps usually just come and go, appear suddenly on the scene to “harass” you and then “leave”.

Without knowing anything about you, it’s not possible to say for sure, but the nice boy and girl may be connected in some way with an habitual outer show of pleasant feeling (mate of the man) that you may think you have, wish that you had, or which the dream is advising you to acquire as a more regular “Persona”, a term used by one school of psychology.

Analyst Jane Wheelwright provides a definition of “Persona” in her book “Death of a Woman”:

“The mask or façade of social adaptation that an individual presents to the outer world. A complex, the core of which is the archetype of conformity, the persona is a necessary, protective part-personality that masks individuality while reflecting the person’s perception of collective expectations with regard to social role and social mores. When flexible and relatively conscious, the persona is a helpful mediator between individual and society. It is dangerous psychologically only when the individual is uncritically identified with it”

One view of dreams is that they try to balance out the attitude of the ego which usually acts like a narrow beam of light as in a searchlight but which thereby excludes a lot of surrounding “dark” areas. The idea is to let in as much of the reality of the personality as well as outer realities as is possible in order to move ahead in a more well-rounded way, hopefully developing in the process one’s unique potentials as a whole.

In your dream, it’s possible that the sulky man could represent a way of sometimes coming across to others that may tend to put them off on occasion. He is teamed up with “Mary-Lou” in some way, possibly representing a darker aspect of your personality that can be found in the “basement”, that is, perhaps usually ignored and not developed too much.

This figure is designated as the “Shadow” and is also defined in Jane Wheelwright’s book:

“The dark, unconscious underside of the ego personality. Its collective and personal aspects contain the repressed, primitive, inferior, discarded, and despised qualities, as well as the unrealized potentials of a group or individual. When the personal shadow is unacknowledged and unintegrated, the conscious personality tends to be two-dimensional and inauthentic; that is, the greater the degree of identification with the persona, the darker and more autonomous the personal shadow tends to be. In dreams and daily life the personal shadow appears as or is projected onto a person of the same sex as the individual, who frequently experiences the object of the projection as particularly irritating or intolerable. The collective shadow is projected onto an individual or an alien group –the scapegoat phenomenon. The archetypal shadow is symbolically represented by such figures as the devil, tempter, trickster, or witch”

So it’s all a touchy business but probably worthwhile to think over if “Mary-Lou” does unfortunately sometimes intrude in your life unexpectedly. Acknowledging such an inner figure is the first step in getting more control over its sometimes upsetting antics.

You might take to a technique described in analyst Robert Johnson’s book “Inner Work” that involves actually having a give-and-take dialogue with such an inner figure. The other half of this book also contains a very reliable and useful introduction to techniques in analyzing dreams and integrating into everyday life what you find out from them.

I hope that at least some of these ideas will help in unravelling the personal message of your dream.

[Palm Tree]

Hi Wolfjk, I think you're right about me being upset by the man; he was quite scarey! Thanks for your response. It gives me a more optimistic way of viewing it that I hadn't considered before.

I only actually excluded the first half of the dream, because that was just about why I had to get to that room (I was being transfered at work because I had moved house, which happened irl) and one conversation in the elevator... I said "Basement" but accidentally pressed the G for ground instead. The nice man said "Ground?" as in, why did you press the wrong floor? I didn't answer but the elevator went to the basement anyway. I assumed that part was just my sleep brain getting confused..!

Athanor, thank you SO much for such a detailed response!! I really appreciate the time you took to help me out. A lot of what you said acually made a startling amount of sense to me. Not that I would have been able to figure it out myself, as some things I hadn't even considered, such as the meaning of the nice boy and girl, and your mention of persona.

the sulky man could represent a way of sometimes coming across to others that may tend to put them off on occasion. He is teamed up with “Mary-Lou” in some way, possibly representing a darker aspect of your personality that can be found in the “basement”

Unfortunately for me, I think you could be right. I've always had something of an obsession with being innocent and good all the time. I'm sure I have been ignoring my darker side. I thought about Mary-Lou, the character, some more because I began to think I hated her out of proportion to how bad she really was. I realized the essential reason why I hate her so much is because in the movie she corrupts another character who is completely innocent.

Acknowledging such an inner figure is the first step in getting more control over its sometimes upsetting antics.

Certainly something I didn't want to hear! I'll have to work hard on this part. I suppose it wasn't really healthy from the start though, to completely ignore one side of yourself in the hopes it would go away. I'll check out the book you recommended, since it might be a big help.

Thank you again, you've given me a lot to think about. Hopefully I can come out of this a better person.

[Varzandeh]

Hi,
You were lost means people won't appreciate you as you merit.
Elevator going down means losing some dignity and esteem.A room at base ment means a sorrow is on the way.This may happen in a month or so.
Good luck.

[Darkstar]

People we do not like are the things we do not like about ourselves. Think of someone you don't like and what you don't like about them, then think if those characteristics are things you don't like about yourself. We project these things onto other people with the same charcteristics.

-Sisonpyh