EEW..Flirting with my own Father????

[BlueAngel]

Hi everyone. Last night I had the WIERDEST dream. I met this rather handsome man, who was friendly, but got shy when I started flirting with him. All of the sudden the circumstances changed and he was my Father. I don't know where that came from, my Dad and I have a totally normal relationship, and I might add, he didn't look the least bit like my Dad really looks. After that, I was getting ready to go out bowling, and I was really looking forward to seeing the guy that I love (although he's not in our league anymore, and I don't get to see him, at least for the summer) I was trying to fix my hair, and couldn't get it right, and I couldn't find any of my toilletries, for getting fixed up. Also, I looked down as I got there, and realized I had dirty clothes on. After that, I was in this house that I didn't recognize, and my Dad told me that we would have to keep moving, because someone was trying to find us, and kill us. Does anybody have any opinions about this?

[Jennings]

I may return to your dream later to give it more thought but meantime you might be interested in the following:

"Oedipus complex n.
In psychoanalysis, a subconscious sexual desire in a child, especially a male child, for the parent of the opposite sex, usually accompanied by hostility to the parent of the same sex".

Sounds as if it is either a healthy or normal stage of development to pass through.

[Wolfjk]

Hi Blue Angel,

After that, I was getting ready to go out bowling, and I was really looking forward to seeing the guy that I love (although he's not in our league anymore, and I don't get to see him, at least for the summer) I was trying to fix my hair, and couldn't get it right, and I couldn't find any of my toilletries, for getting fixed up. Also, I looked down as I got there, and realized I had dirty clothes on.

I think this dream is a waking dream and was dreamt near morning. At this time of sleep the dreams often have sexual or romantic themes for a reason.
The salient point in this dream is: "and I don't get to see him, at least for the summer". In your sleep you might have felt sexy but there is a moral scroople in the back of your mind that stopped you - that is why thesuggestion that he was your father.
The annoyance and dirty clothes, and the strange house with a killer threat are waking elements in the dream, but suggest that you were still very tired or mentally exhausted - hence the need for all the prompting towake up.
Cheers Wolfjk

[Varzandeh]

Hi,
If you had sex or incest with your father it would mean that you will seperate from each other for example by a far travel.Now flirting is a lower situation of that kind.This may take a monthto happen.
Good luck.

[BlueAngel]

I want to thank everyone for your answers, but you all seem to be missing the point. As I said,I do NOT, nor have I EVER, had sexual desires for my Father, nor has he ever displayed any unseemly behavior or speech towards me, that would give anybody reason to think so. I think I probably had that dream out of fear of making any more mistakes in relationships, and therefore my mind felt to play it safe, and put my Father in there, as if he's watching to keep me out of trouble. But you're right, it was right before morning I had the dream.

[unclesirbobbyrobson]

well your father maybe a symbol for an older man who is old enough to be your father. Dreams are often located within personal situatuions. Perhaps you have been talking to an older man at work or something.

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Dreams deal with extremes. If you truly understood the meaning of your dream it may be quite negative. We are our own worst judge. We try to detect signals coming from other people. Do people feel we are not cool or incompetent? The dream mind is often very harsh and honest. It tells us things that we do not like to admit to ourselves. It tells us things that we fear. Its worries about how others are seeing us. It’s a big harsh dose of reality.

Yet the dream mind also heads in the other direction. It captures our fantasies and positive feelings. Sometimes you wake up in a positive mood and feel that you are going to tackle a task in a particular way. You are invigorated and positive. Dreams then help motivate us. But often if we go too far in one direction our dreams tell us to cool down and not get carried away. This makes sense really. The dream mind then explores feelings connected with our judgment. We need to motivate ourselves but we also need to be realistic.

Try these pages as they help you understand the process of dreaming

A dream dictionary that explores the variety of meanings in a dream symbol
Dream symbolism - How to use dream symbols
Dream symbolism and dream dictionary interpretation - How to interpret dreams
Dream interpreting - the police and security forces and their symbolic meaning

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SCARBOROUGHSURFCITY - Scarborough surfing photos from the north and south bay

[Athanor]

One clue that the man in your dream relates mostly to an inner aspect of yourself rather than representing your outer father is that “he didn’t look the least bit like my Dad really looks”. Usually a near-photographic reproduction of a person in a dream is needed in order to confirm that the image is about the outer person more than the inner “person”.

But there’s often a mixture of the two because a father as well as a mother are the central influences on our life, appearing as images in dreams that can depict how “father-like” and “mother-like” energies tend to be affecting the dreamer’s life.

Analyst James Hollis describes some “father-like” characteristics in his book “Mythologems”. For example, the father or masculine principle “whether in a man or woman, is a lively, quickening, stimulating, enspiriting power…

…we think of father also as protector, empowering agent, and ultimately that which is to be overcome in order to find one’s own authority”.

Using these ideas of what the image of a father can relate to, perhaps the dream is trying to show indirectly through an upsetting analogy that you might not yet have developed enough of your own sense of inner authority, relying sometimes too much on maybe “going along” with what others think is the best thing for you to do (being attracted to handsome man who changes to your father).

Perhaps something happened the day before the dream where this situation was emphasized in some way so that it had a less than positive effect on how you looked to others as related to being your own woman (couldn’t fix hair right, dirty clothes), or at least perhaps you FELT people were viewing you in a negative light somehow.

If this interpretation of your dream is generally correct, it’s possible that the final part regarding the dangerous killers could mean that upsetting doubts and less than wholly productive ways of acting could tend to eventually “kill” a happy self, perhaps leading to more “mistakes in relationships” as you mentioned if what’s being pointed out by the dream isn’t worked at in some way.

However, without knowing much about you, this interpretation can only be based on some general dream symbols that might not fit your personal situation too well. All the same, I hope that at least some of the ideas above will help in expanding on the potential meaning of your dream.

[Jennings]

BlueAngel, I was not implying that you harboured a sexual interest in your father; merely that there exists this developmental stage in the lives of many which appears to be natural and normal; that was all.

It is possible that your dream is highlighting unconscious emotional needs and your father, presumably being someone of the opposite sex for whom you have deep affection, is populating your dream possibly as he is the closest or nearest male figure in your life or in your affections. It is loosely connected to the theme in the lyrics of the song which goes, 'If you cannot be near the girl (or man) you love then love the girl you are near'. It would appear to be a natural progression in the maturation processes and not something to which one should feel ashamed nor embarrassed. It is a transitional feature which, paradoxically, shows constraint.

[BlueAngel]

Thank you Again, Jennings, and please know that I was not upset with you personally, or anyone else who has tried so much to be helpful to me in this. Athenor, your ideas are the closest to the truth, right now, especially when you said that my perceptions of myself, and how I feel others percieve me make me feel unworthy. This last year aND A HALF HAS BEEN THE WORST i EVER HAD. getting put out of my home by my husband that I trusted would always love and care for me, losing a job that I loved, through no fault of my own, because the manager went down, and I was related to her, falling seriously ill, and being coerced to work anyway, because they're too cheap to hire enough people, my car getting broken into, all of my stuff getting taken, and worst of all, my friend that I cared so much for, and really wanted more than friendship with leaving the bowling league we were on for the summer, and maybe for good, just when I thought we were on the verge of getting closer than just friends. To add insult to injury, because of my financial problems, I've been reduced to staying on my sister's couch because I can't afford an apartment of my own, so I have NO PRIVACY. Sometimes I feel just like a moth in a jar, beating my wings so hard and ther'es no way I can ever get out? I pray, I work hard, I try, but lately it's just too hard to act happy and confident. I'm sorry for whining, but I'm really at the end of my rope, and I'm starting to think it's all over from here.... Thanks everyone, for your honest opinions, they are all important to me, even if sometimes painful to deal with.

[Disenchanted]

I actually had a dream similar to that one time, except my father was trying to flirt with me, then when I resisted, he when insane and tried to kill me.

I figured it was because I have a sort of abusive relationship with my father, and I don't like him very much. He tries to make up for it by buying me things. But, if you have a good relationship with your father, then I don't know what to tell you. It might just be one of those cracked out dreams.