Confused Marriage

[allbut1]

My dream last night disturbs me. My 7th anniversary is coming up in a week, and I've never even had a thought or notion to cheat....
In my dream, it started out 3 days before my wedding. I got itchy feet and wanted to know what, or who else was out there. I told my husband (then fiance) that I wasn't ready to get married, and left him. The look on his face will haunt me for a long time. I found a guy that I used to know growing up, who is 2 years older than me. Instead of canceling the wedding, I used it to marry this guy. About a week later, I asked my mom what she thought of him, and she just said "he seems nice." That right there told me that she didn't like him and she thought I was stupid for giving up the best guy (my hubby) for another. I found out this guy was really immature, and didn't want to be with him any more. When I told him this, he turned into a 9 year old kid. I jumped into a truck and headed for my hubby's work. I tried to call him to get back together with him, and his phone number was the same as it is now. He even worked at the same place he is now. (7 years later!) It didn't matter how many times I called him, he wouldn't answer. I finally had to leave a message, and I started to cry. I remember having to tell my youngest daughter to go to bed in my dream. I'm just glad I woke up with the right guy in my bed. It all kind of brings it all home. I really appreciate all that my husband does for me. I guess I was just taking it all for granted before. I'm actually getting depressed thinking back on this dream. This dream was an eye opener.

[MAPreCogDreamer]

it sounds like maybe you figured this one out for yourself, maybe you had feelings for a past person or maybe you have been dystent or not receiving something from your "hubby". I really don't know for sure but I have had similar dreams where I have been interested in others then my husband and others have been interested in me. Someone on here suggested it might have something to do with my marriage and the level of romance etc in it and that seemed to really hit the nail on the head. Maybe its something to do with your relationship with your hubby, maybe something you need to work on. Just think about your relationship lately, how has it been? has there been anything bothering you? Is it lacking anything? That might be the source, but as I said I don't really have any knowledge on this, this is just what seemed to work for me when I had a similar situation recently.

[Jennings]

An interesting dream and it is not unusual to occasionally have such feelings or dreams; much depends on the strength of one's libido at the time. It seems to me that your dream is confirming that you married the right man rather than having anything to do with infidelity. Have a good a anniversary.

[Athanor]

Often the emotion being experienced upon waking is the real key to a dream, so it is possible that your own interpretation of this dream is mostly the right one on this occasion.

If this idea continues to seem to make sense to you, then the dream is likely also outlining the reasons why you have perhaps been tending to take your husband for granted in some ways as well as pointing out some other issues.

The other man in your dream probably represents qualities and attitudes that you somehow share with him rather than representing the outer man himself as such. One indicator of this is that apparently he isn’t involved in your daily life at this time, or if so, perhaps only as a distant acquaintance.

You could try mulling over if there are some clear traits that you share with this other man in order to see if these have in some way influenced your behavior towards your husband.

Although it might not sound like too useful a thing to do, you could also try thinking back to around nine years ago (the age he turns to) in order to see if some large change in attitude or outlook occurred around then. For example, did you become rebellious in some way or was there some other noticeable change in your outlook? Whatever it was may be persisting in some way to the current time and might be tending to disrupt things somehow.

Your mother in the dream could represent your instinctive knowing that some aspects of your personality may tend to disrupt relationships at times.

The image of your husband in the dream might be symbolizing the feeling situation between the two of you. But since one view is that a woman chooses as a husband a man who matches in some way her inner image of men (the equivalent would be true with men in choosing a wife), then he probably also represents an inner aspect of yourself that you also have to “reunite” with just as your upcoming anniversary will reconfirm your commitment to your outer husband.

However it’s not usually possible to give too accurate an interpretation without having a lot of background about the dreamer, but I hope that at least this overall approach to your dream will be of some help.

[allbut1]

Thanks for all the input. As for the "other man" in my dream, I haven't even seen him in at least 10 years. I have no idea why I would be dreaming about him, and I can't see anything we have in common, except for the fact that we grew up in the same area, and attended the same school for a few years. We never talked, and never had anything to do with each other. The only thing I can think of that would have happened 9 years ago is having a crush on a guy. He was totally incompatable with me, and I now know that. I just wish I knew that then!
I remember in my dream that this other guy and I were hugging a lot. Like, hanging-on-each-other-kind-of-thing. In real life, I would like to cuddle more with my husband, but it drives me nuts to see two people hang on each other like they can't get enough of each other. I do know that my relationship with my husband has never been better, and that is a great thing. Especially after 7 years of trying to figure each other out. Would it be a significant thing that I've only known my husband for 7 1/2 years? When we met, we just seemed to "click". Anyways...I'm rambling now. Again, thanks for the input.

[Athanor]

It looks like the dream used the image of a guy you didn’t know at all in order to emphasize that he represents an inner aspect of yourself and also perhaps to illustrate how unconscious and “unknown” this part of you may be right now.

Perhaps focusing instead on the guy from nine years ago would help to track down what you’re tending to be overly unconscious of. You could try asking yourself what the main thing about him was that attracted you and watch for the first spontaneous thing that comes to mind. It’s possible that the character trait that appears is an important issue the dream wants you to look at some more as you approach the milestone of your seventh anniversary.

“Marriage Dead or Alive” by Adolf Guggenbuhl-Craig is a very interesting book on marriage that has been around a long time. It covers many challenging aspects of the subject head on and provides a lot of food for thought although it’s a small book. If you’re interested in taking a look, you could find it on a site like amazon.com for example.