dad passed almost a year ago

[kellaron]

hi there,
I lost my father to brain cancer july 16 2006 he was in a coma so the last time i talked to him was when he was transferred back from dana farber he stayed awake long enough to see us and to tell me he loved me and the next morning slipped into a coma and died 2 days later. i have been so devastated over his passing i am experiencing very strong depression i am withdrawing from my friends and family i just cant believe i have to live my life without him i was 25 when he passed and turned 26 less than a month later. i have been experiencing dreams about him the last dream i had was he was awake when he was dying and i helped him down the stairs to wait for my family then the dream jumped to him sitting on the edge of my bed telling me he was ok and everything will be alright also the night he passed i dreamt of him at his house laying in a hospital bed also telling me he was ok these dreams always result in me waking up screaming and crying and going into panic attacks what do these dreams mean some people told me they are not dreams but messages but how should i interpret them? i really appreciate you taking the time to read this......thank you

[Jennings]

Firstly, you are obviously in grief and suffering from shock. When we lose someone dear to us it impacts on us profoundly and, yes, it is difficult trying to comprehend how the world can continue to spin on its axis without your father being around. This is normal when in grief. It is as if part of you died with him and you have probably felt at times like the mud at the bottom of the sewer. Paradoxically, to miss someone so much gives value to their life without which they might only be filling space. It is comprehensible that your father came through to you in your dreams to reassure you and comfort you.

The sides of the Valley of Death are very steep indeed and it takes time and a gargantuan effort to claw one's self out but eventually you will arrive at the top and find knew direction to your life and look back too on your father with fond memories and speak of him with pride.

Flash-backs of memory are a frequent occurrence in grief.

Generally, most bereaved persons begin to come to terms with their loss about a year afterwards although it takes longer for the emotional wound to eventually heal; much depends on the individual themselves. One of the difficulties of modern society is that death is mostly hidden from us so it impacts on us more profoundly whenever we experience it.

Up to around WW2 death was an integral part of existing; almost every family was affected mainly through disease and there were no chapels-of-rest so the body had to be kept in the family home.

I wonder if you can see how fortunate you were when your father was able to express his love to you before passing-on.

I understand how you feel.

[kellaron]

i am so grateful for your words, yes i feel very very lucky to have the last words my father said to me i love you i will never forget it. it is hard for me to talk about him without crying uncontrollably although at his wake and funeral i did not cry i thought there was something wrong with me and yes we (my siblings and i me being the youngest)were very shielded my family has never dealt with a death in the family being the last one in 1989,i beleive when my father was diagnosed 6 months before he passed they gave him a life expectency but we were not told my dad was the type of man who didnt want people to fuss over him at all even when he was very ill he went downhill quickly and the whole time i believed he was getting better but in reality he was getting worse i was closest to my dad then anyone in the world and now when something takes place in my life he is not here to share i dont even want to get married anymore after his death. he always pressed me about continuing my education because i dropped out of high school(very stupid on my part)and after he passed i recieved my g.e.d. which really meant nothing to me since he was not here. but you really think these dreams are a way of him reaching out to me? also the night he died i swear i heard his voice call out to me could this happen in a dream? god, it feels really good to talk to someone about this,i havent spoke to anyone about all this at all even my family, i also had a flashback just now the day of his death my moms friend whom he hated for very good reason came over and his dog who has always been gentle to everyone actually bit her(not hard nor bad)and the electricity went out for about an hour or two could this be another form of messaging? thank you soooo much for taking the time to listen to me it has helped. thank you again.

[Jennings]

Yes, indeed, such events are so coincidental that their frequency alone becomes a coincidence that to not believe that communication is not happening is tantamount to arrogance. Regretfully, in the scientific arena if such events cannot be quantified or measured then they do not exist! How more puerile can people become?

Never stop yourself from crying. You probably found that the simplest of things would evoke your grief and you would readily weep. Try not be embarrasssed by this and try not to stop yourself from doing it. Crying is an excellent emotional relief and an effective way to bringing about healing.

Not to desire to have people fuss over one is a typical male trait.

Regarding hearing your father's voice after his departure; read what I said in the thread 'Past Lives in My Dreams' by Jon; you might find it helpful.

I understand your feeling of not having a confidant to share the pleasures of joy with you or in whom you can confide. It is actually very lonely too when you don't have someone with whom to argue (sounds crazy, I know) but that's reality.

Don't hesitate to unburden your feelings on others; tell them you feel deeply saddened at your father's passing; tell them exactly how you feel deep down; tell them about that lump-feeling at the foot of your breast-bone; it all helps in the healing process. You might find it embarrassing to do so but it will advance your recovery.

You evidently had a great father who met his fatherly obligations to the full and with whom you are well pleased. Many others are not blessed in this way.

If in some way what I have said has helped you then I am glad to have done so. How can I possibly know how you might feel; well I lost my first wife 8 years ago, a 16 year old grand daughter 10 years ago, and a 45 year old daughter 3 years ago. I know!

[Varzandeh]

Hi,
Yes, they are symbolic and messages.
If one dreamt of her deceased father alive means her situation will get better and will have a better financial affairs.
Also dreaming of a deceased person alive if he said I'm O.K means he has a good situation in the spirituals.

Here is some more about dreams:
Dream language interpretation is an ancient science of allusions . Pointing of the surrounded environment. As Mr. Einstein has said the events are like train stations which exist and we are moving towards them. These are prewritten destiny with some authority ( in decision making seconds) in a very full details. This dream language should be translated, and interesting to know it is international and common for all human beings. But ignorance causes some misunderstanings.People were not aware of this language and always thought in a bad way , for example Mr. Freud said about sexual dreams it is because you have suppressed your sexual desires so misled everybody and some women dreamt about having sex with co-workers or another and thought they should do that, while it only meant he will do something for her, or some others dreamt had sex with the same sex and invented homosexual, while it meant the same ,Also some men dreamt his wife had sex with a man and didn't understand or a woman dreamt her partner had sex with a woman and didn't' understand ...etc.Do you see what catastrophes are caused by misunderstanding a language. About the approximate interpretation time table: Dreams at noon or exactly at midnight( In the summer time 13 at noon and 1 midnight else at 12)in the same day if past a few minutes, a few days later. Dreams at 10-11 in the morning in 15-30 days later. Also dreams at 3-4 in the evening in 1-2 months .Dreams in the sunset mostly are not truthful and are messed, they have no interpretations, Dreams at 4-5 in the morning in a few days to 2 months some dreams in the holy books( Josef dream of kneeling the sun and the moon and 11 stars)was interpreted after 20 years and other dreams of the Pharaoh's prisoners interpreted in the same day and after 7 years. Dream of Pharaoh about the 7 thin cows and 7 fat cows interpreted from the next year to 14 years. Also dreams in 6th of the month will interpret after 1-2 days, in 9th at the same day, in 10th after 20 days, in 13th after 9 days in 14th after 26 days and in 15th after 3 days, in 16th after 2 days and in 28th ,29th ,30th in the same day, but these are solar (Persian months and you should refer to a calendar or convert them) . Of course there are different kinds of dreams , like messy dreams which have no interpretations or deja vu dreams, or psychological dreams or dreams which are caused by bad food or drinks.

I want to tell you a reason to know that 5 senses can't understand anything except by the soul,
Have you dreamt you were eating and drinking and had pleasure of that. He said yes. I said: have you dreamt laughing and crying, and strolling in the cities that haven't seen yet but you know the specialties. He said: yes dreamt very much. I said: Have you ever dreamt about your dead brother or father and know them like they are alive.
He said: yes too many times. I said: tell me which sense has received such things to see the dead and talking to them or crying and laughing. He said: I can’t say which one. Because the body is slept like a dead. I said: tell me when you wake up don’t you remember and report to the friends exactly, He said; yes and sometimes I see that before night in real life. I said; which sense keeps it to remember the dream after waking. He said; there is no way for sense. I said then you should know because senses are vein here that is the soul that God has put wisdom in it and it is a reason. He said; what I dream is like mirage one thinks it is water but when arrive at there is nothing. I said; how do you say it is like mirage and you ate sweets and pickles and were happy and sad he said; because what I dream when I arrive at it is nothing. I said: have you ever had sex in the dream and your hearts beat, have you ever had wet dream about a woman or man. You know him or don’t know He said many times said had you orgasm and when you woke up you were wet then this is not mirage.
He said: dreaming orgasm is just like the real life .I said this is my reason that soul. Knows everything although senses are dead and can’t see or hear of course you shouldn’t deny that soul in addition of the senses knowledge recognition in the waking life and after vanishing the senses has sex with them then it recognizes the things after going senses and now you understand that the itself is guiding the senses and is their governor and none of the senses can’t do anything without soul; if the soul goes a head body wasn’t get back and if soul gets back the body won’t go ahead with the soul the happiness comes and with it the ache is received if a sense is damaged the soul is remained but if the soul is damaged senses can work properly.

[alira]

I too lost my dad. I had dreams i would have a conversation with him then, be like, hang on your dead?! I think it is messages for you that he is okay. Listen to your dreams, you are lucky to see him, others could only wish for that reassurance.
Keep smilin', he's by your side sunshine!
Alira

Originally Posted by kellaron

hi there,
I lost my father to brain cancer july 16 2006 he was in a coma so the last time i talked to him was when he was transferred back from dana farber he stayed awake long enough to see us and to tell me he loved me and the next morning slipped into a coma and died 2 days later. i have been so devastated over his passing i am experiencing very strong depression i am withdrawing from my friends and family i just cant believe i have to live my life without him i was 25 when he passed and turned 26 less than a month later. i have been experiencing dreams about him the last dream i had was he was awake when he was dying and i helped him down the stairs to wait for my family then the dream jumped to him sitting on the edge of my bed telling me he was ok and everything will be alright also the night he passed i dreamt of him at his house laying in a hospital bed also telling me he was ok these dreams always result in me waking up screaming and crying and going into panic attacks what do these dreams mean some people told me they are not dreams but messages but how should i interpret them? i really appreciate you taking the time to read this......thank you

[Clarity]

I am so, so sorry for all of you who´ve loved and lost. I hope you get the strength you need to find your inner peace, to face this world with a smile. I lost my grandmother 7 years ago, but I wouldn´t advice you to share your ´dreams´ with everyone you know, unless you want to end up being stamped as a mental person and be sent to coercive treatment. Trust me, that´s the way people act when they´re told something that´s incomprehensible for them to understand. I´ve lived it through, and I wouldn´t recommend it to anyone. It´s not worth it. Good luck to all of you.