Being a Promiscuous, Heartless Woman

[Hapa Honey]

I think that before I start telling you of my dream, I should first give a bit of background on myself to explain why this dream was so unusual.

I have never been promiscuous and have never thought about being that way. I did not have my first kiss until a month before I turned 20 and it was with my very first boyfriend. I am still with him and I am still a virgin at the age of 21 (though if I did not have physical problems I would have most likely also lost my virginity when I was 20). We are living together and have never fought; the only time we've gotten upset with each other is when we have misunderstood what the other meant by a statement. I am very happy with him and I couldn't have wished for a better partner. Also, even though I do dream about sex and sexual things, it is always with my partner and never with other people. I have dreamt of other people attempting to kiss me or do something else, but I have always rejected them in the dream, saying I have a partner whom I love very much.

I am also a very considerate person and most of the time I will think of everyone else before I consider my own feelings, so it was strange that, in the dream, I did not care at all about how I would be hurting people.

I also have to say that Jamie (not his real name) is someone I knew in real life in secondary/high school. We both liked each other, but I said 'no' when he asked me out because he asked me in front of his friends when we were joking around and I thought he was not serious. He continued to flirt with me after that, but we never got together or went on a date because I was too shy to tell him the truth about when he asked me on a date and I guess he was too afraid to ask again.

I tried looking up a few things relating to my dream in a dream dictionary my boyfriend bought me over a year ago, but there was nothing under promiscuous or flirting, or anything like that. It's a huge book, but I could not even find 'cliff', which is something that appeared in the dream. That is why I have come here, hoping that actual people can give me their ideas on the meaning.

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Here is the dream:

It is night-time and I am walking back home from having sex with a guy whom I often have casual sex with (in the dream I am single). My home is situated on the edge of a cliff and has ceiling-to-floor windows in the wall facing the edge so that I can see the evergreen trees in the valley below.

Before I reach home, a man steps in front of me. It is Jamie. As we walk towards my house he tells me he knows how I feel and that he knows that I know how he feels. He says that we have been tiptoeing around this and flirting for too long and he wants to try for a relationship together. We reach my house and we sit on a sofa facing the windows that overlook the valley. Moonlight shines in and illuminates the both of us.

I agree to a date with Jamie tomorrow evening. He adds that what I am doing must stop if we are to become a couple because it would really hurt him if I continue the casual sex. I say nothing, but he shows no signs of being upset and leaves.

A man with long, shoulder-length hair (not the man I'm having casual sex with from earlier) creeps out of the shadows to the right and sits next to me on the sofa. He begins to kiss and caress me. I recall Jamie's request about stopping the casual sex and how I agreed to a date, but what the long-haired man is doing feels so good that I think 'F*** it' to myself and open my legs so he can have sex with me.

Some time later I am in a relationship with Jamie. I am about to go into London to meet Matt: a man I have been speaking to over the phone for a while, but whom I have never met. We are friends, but I decide to dress up for Matt in a tiny top and a short, tight, black skirt. I am sauntering past queues of cars and taxis on a dark London street. As I make my way to our agreed meeting place I decide I will also give Matt a lapdance.

Some more time passes and I am on my way to a job interview in the afternoon for a position as a photographer. The man who is my potential employer picks four people to take the interview, but it is not like a normal interview. We all have to sit around a table and draw a picture of someone seeing something abstract (like truth, or dignity, but I cannot remember). I draw an eye with different coloured shapes sprinkled inside it, but later decide I should have drawn unusual, brightly-coloured plants. However, I am still confident that I will be taking pictures for the man who is interviewing us, even if I fail the interview and I tell that to everyone around the table.

The person to my left begins talking to me. It is Chase from the series House. He flatters me with comments about how beautiful I am and tells me my name is gorgeous and unique. I laugh and tell him my name is very common and millions of other women share it. He says he does not care and still holds the same opinion. Soon we are snogging (kissing with tongue for those who don't know what that is) each other's faces off and running our hands all over each other's bodies.

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Anybody have any ideas what all of this means?

[Palehorse]

test reply.

Someone said they couldn't reply, this is your only message without a reply so I am testing it.

[Palehorse]

Originally Posted by Palehorse

test reply.

Someone said they couldn't reply, this is your only message without a reply so I am testing it.

Seems to work.

[Clarity]

What an interesting dream, Hapa Honey

"I have never been promiscuous and have never thought about being that way"

In my view, this is where it all starts. You´ve always been considerate towards other people, and you´ve never put your own needs before anyone else´s. The fact that you are a good girl in reality has got your mind into a state where it becomes fascinated by the opposite, and eventually this unconscious fascination turns into a vivid dream.

"I did not have my first kiss until a month before I turned 20 and it was with my very first boyfriend. I am still with him and I am still a virgin at the age of 21."

What´s interesting in the dream is that you don´t seem to know your casual sex-partners so well; you´re fulfilling your sexual needs with strangers. In reality you have a stable, long-term relationship with your boyfriend. Perhaps it was this stability that made you unconsciously envisage the reverse. Human mind is a complex thing, and it is normal for the unconscious to turn things upside down when the mind is in a peaceful state, that´s when it really gets activated. It happens when information gets transferred from the short-time memory into long-term memory. Good luck to you and your beloved

[JON]

I have never been promiscuous and have never thought about being that way. I did not have my first kiss until a month before I turned 20 and it was with my very first boyfriend. I am still with him and I am still a virgin at the age of 21 (though if I did not have physical problems I would have most likely also lost my virginity when I was 20). We are living together and have never fought; the only time we've gotten upset with each other is when we have misunderstood what the other meant by a statement. I am very happy with him and I couldn't have wished for a better partner. Also, even though I do dream about sex and sexual things, it is always with my partner and never with other people. I have dreamt of other people attempting to kiss me or do something else, but I have always rejected them in the dream, saying I have a partner whom I love very much.

Hapa Honey, don't feel embarrased or ashamed still being a virgin at 20/21. With your relationship, you are lucky to have found such a guy, who feels the same as you. I admire and commend the mature and sensible approach of you both. I just wish that more young people followed your example. They could 'learn something' worthwhile!

But, sadly, we live in an age where anything [and everything] goes. Just look at TV [esp soaps and so-called Reality Shows], some movies, tabloids, and those trashy magazines full of empty-headed crap that some people digest all too readily. The media should set a Good Example, for a change, and stop wallowing in the gutter!

Now I've got that out of my system, and taken a deep breath, I would like to wish the two of you all the luck and happiness in the world. As John Lennon said [and quoted in the movie Four Weddings: "Love is the answer. And you know that for sure".

[Hapa Honey]

Thanks for your replies! Everyone's interpretations so far make perfect sense to me.

JON - Thank you for your compliments and kind comments. I usually do not feel embarrassed unless I know I may be talking to people who might judge me. The reason why I added I would have most likely lost it at 20 was because I probably would have if it were physically possible at the time. Making a choice and being physically able to do it are two different things.

My boyfriend is not as young as I am, but it is true that he also did not have his first girlfriend until he was 20 and he loved me enough to wait. I read about so many men who would dump a woman after three months of no sex and about women who've had the same problem as me and have been dumped (even though they needed operations, treatments and sometimes also therapy before they could have sex). Due to this I know that I am a very lucky person to have such a partner!

Thanks to both you and Clarity for wishing us good luck!

[JON]

My pleasure, Hapa Honey. BTW, I love your Username. What made you choose it?

I was 'chased' by various girls throughout my school and college days. But none of them got anywhere. My studies and friends were more important to me. I had to work hard at the former, especially exams, the stress of which made me ill. Through improving my grades, I didn't go to University until I was 21. There I had my first relationship. I've had several since then. But none have really worked out for me, for one reason or another. It's early days with this one, so I hope all works out well this time....

Thanks for your reply. Kind regards, Jon.