husband's girlfriend during our marriage

[debi j]

I have dreams on a regular basis that always include a young woman my husband was having an affair with. The thing is, he had many affairs, but this one girl always shows up in my dreams. I awake, sick to my stomach and it bothers me for the entire day. He is not fooling around now as he is completely paralyzed from strokes and a recent amputation. But, why is it always this one girl that appears in the dreams - and he is always leaving me to be with her in the dreams. Please help me understand how to deal with this.

[Jennings]

I suspect the answer to this problem lies in your need for your husband's constant love; a dependency you probably had on him or that you actually did love him and wanted your affection to be reciprocated but his response was seldom constant. This particular female who keeps populating your dreams may be the type of woman you either envy as she stole your affection or that you would like to be her. May I commiserate with you in the unluck that appears to have blighted your life. I do hope you will discover happier circumstance in the future.

[licia25]

What makes this one woman stand out more than the others? Perhaps with the other women they were just flings, perhaps less emotion was envolved, when i read your dream the first question that comes to mind is: did he love or deeply care for this woman more than the others? I would also agree with Jennings in that perhaps you dream of her in particular b/c of envy. Perhaps she is the type of woman you always pictured yourself to be. I'm dealing with a problem with my own doubts about myself at this point in my life , i am often quietly jealous of other girls my boyfriend talks to or works with b/c deep down they are who i wish i was, they embody what i find is beautiful to men about women. But my boyfriend and I are working on helping me realize that i am just as worthy and beautiful as they. It is a hard journey but a necessary one. Perhaps this is a journey you too should embark. When someone you love hurts you, the problem is that you hurt yourself MORE than they do over it. You blame yourself, you ask what you could have done differently, you begin to believe you do not measure up. I have never been cheated on, the pain of such a thing must be unbearable, something i cannot imagine. For you to have lived thru that and still be by his side says something quite amazing about you.
I hope you find your answers, sorry for any misspellings, a migrane has come to visit me today
best of luck
-licia

[licia25]

i am notorious for misspelling words lately, i was an english major that i find that quite amusing, actually alot of things have changed since our wreck we were in a few months ago (bumped my noggin three times, beat my brain up alittle bit), forgetfulness and vertigo i thought were the worst but these misspellings are climbing up the chart. oh envolved has an 'i' as in involved, isn't that great!
glad to see you are getting some answers on your dream
hope they've helped
best of luck
-licia