dreams of ex-girlfriend

[hibijibis]

Hi all,

I just joined this forum today. It seems like a nice place!

Anyway, I will fill in some background info first. I was with my first girlfriend about almost 8 yrs ago now. I loved her so much. And we broke up badly, and I made some promises at the end that I would always love her, that have since affected my ability to find closure... ie something in side of me doesnt want to let go.

5 yrs ago I met my current partner. And we have been together ever since. I love her, but find it hard to go to the same extent? maybe i'm holding myself back?

Anyway every now and again, I'll have a dream of my ex-partner. Last night I dreamt that I was in my house. There were lots of people there. It seemed to be a party, but I didnt know why. I saw my ex-girlfriend there, but we werent together. She was looking at my through the crowd like she wanted to say something to me. I had to rush off somewhere, and she told me before she left, that she was leaving this city and going elsewhere, and that she wanted to say bye properly before she left. I said wait for me, I will come and talk to you properly. I really just wanted to give her a big hug. But by the time I had come back, she was gone. After that I realised that it was my birthday party.

There were lots of people there, but I felt subdued. I went home to my block of units, and in my dream she was living downstairs. I walked inside to find an empty house. Most of stuff was gone, but there was some stuff left behind, that I took home with me, before the cleaners came to remove everything. I had a sense that my current partner was there, but didnt see her. I knew we were together. And yet when I was walking through the empty house full of my ex-partner's presence, I had a huge sense of sadness/loss.

I woke up today feeling sad and lost, and not sure why I still dream of her. It troubles me. I dont know if it is because I havent had proper closure (how does one attain this), or is it because of my current partner?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

PS I have noted other similar type dreams that tend to occur with 1st loves. Is this the case?