Ringing Baby

[Molot]

Greetings,

My husband has been having a recurring dream in which he is holding a baby boy and the child is ringing. It is not clear if the baby is ours or someone else's (We are newlyweds and miscarried our first conception. Since then, we have had to live apart due to my husband's job, so I haven't been with him in 4 months) and this child appears in a variety of different dreams with different sub-plots in different settings. The most recent dream, my husband was with his mother and sisters and the child was there, but I wasn't.

We sort of know that the baby symbolism means "new" but what about the ringing? I feel that it may be that his desire to have a child is simply much stronger now and the ringing is a type of wake-up call to make changes to allow us to acheive that.

Any other thoughts out there?

[Glorybound]

I could tell from the first statement that your husband is a business man. What this says to me is that your husbands priorities are more with his job than with starting a family. If you would have the child, would you both be able to raise it together? Would it be a complicated situation where you would have the child for a few weeks or months or something, and then the child would be shipped off to the other parent for a while? Think carefully about having a child. If you are going to want him to be around all the time to help take care of the baby, it might not be such a good idea. At the same time I realize that it's important to have a job to take care of your family but some things are more important. Would this situation tear your apart from your child? Would it tear your child apart from your husband? Would it tear you both apart from each other/would the situation force the child to pick a favorite? Or would you both be fighting for the child's favoritism?

That's my take. Hope it helps.

[Allegra 26]

Hi,

Could your dreams be linked to your miscarriage? This is something that I expect would be a big toll on a young couple, so perhaps this is the way you're dealing with it subconsciously. I agree with the previous post that given the temporary long-distance it's probably not the best time to have a child. Have you and your husband actually spoken about the miscarriage properly, or was the issue ignored a little? With regards to the ringing, perhaps this is linked to your husband's business job with the phone always ringing/him being busy, etc.. Otherwise perhaps ringing for you to answer the issue being discussing the miscarriage with your husband. It's difficult to say given the situation, but hopefully this gives you some food for thought.

Allegra

[Molot]

Thanks for your thoughts, Glorybound. Those are all valid concerns. Thankfully, my husband's overseas job contract will run out next Spring and he will be able to live with me here full-time then. It's a sucky way to spend one's first year of marriage, but it was something we knew about in advance and that there would be a true end to the situation. I'll be visiting him next month for a couple of weeks and our hope is to conceive again. He'll be home by the time the baby is born.

Still, I am thinking hard about your comments that it seems that work is his main priority at this time, thus the ringing symbolism. He works 60-70 hours a week minimum and his project has him pulling all-nighters regularly.

I just wonder, is it the job that is ringing for him, overshadowing the baby, or is the baby ringing to get his attention away from the job?

[Molot]

Thanks, Allegra 26, for your compassion. Yes, we endured the miscarriage while separated and no, we haven't had a proper situation to discuss it over an unreliable phone connection while living long-distance. When I see him September, we will finally be able to talk about it in depth.

I should also mention that my husband's sister just informed us she is pregnant with her 3rd child and while we both know about it, she is keeping the news a secret from her mother right now. That could be why they were both in the most recent dream, with my husband in the middle, holding the ringing baby.

[porshia]

I could mean that when you do have a child you will feel overwhelmed. I think this because the ringing could be the phone ringing but you cannot answer it.

[Wolfjk]

Originally Posted by Molot

Greetings,

My husband has been having a recurring dream in which he is holding a baby boy and the child is ringing. It is not clear if the baby is ours or someone else's (We are newlyweds and miscarried our first conception. Since then, we have had to live apart due to my husband's job, so I haven't been with him in 4 months) and this child appears in a variety of different dreams with different sub-plots in different settings. The most recent dream, my husband was with his mother and sisters and the child was there, but I wasn't.

We sort of know that the baby symbolism means "new" but what about the ringing? I feel that it may be that his desire to have a child is simply much stronger now and the ringing is a type of wake-up call to make changes to allow us to acheive that.

Any other thoughts out there?

Hi,
You can forget about any symbolism! Your husbands dreams are about what is happening in his sleep. It is no fun working away from home and at night many negative thoughts intrude in his sleep. Losing the baby is a very traumatic event for both of you. If he is working long hours, he will be tired in the morning and will need a strong dream to wake him up. The baby ringing is just a waking dream after a restless night.
I hope all will be well when he finishes his work abroad. A family needs a livelyhood and a job is important. It does not mean that he puts work before family, he would not have married you if that was the case.
Cheers Wolfjk