Ex In Laws House?

[lilolehs]

I am not sure why I was dreaming about my ex in-laws house. I've dreamt about it before. In previous dreams, I think we were repainting or something.

In this one, I think I spent quite a bit of time in a back living room of sorts (as usual). The house is always dusty and cluttered in my dreams. I think we were going to have a party (me and my ex -- in real life I really don't like him in the same room, so not sure why in my dreams we are sometimes doing things together. It's annoying).

In this dream, we were (well... I was) tidying up. I was getting annoyed because there was silverware lying around in a pile on the counter or table. I was getting annoyed because it shouldn't have been there, so was cleaning up and trying to put them in the dishwasher, but as I was doing this, I noticed some very nice, expensive, intricuit pieces that didn't belong there. I felt badly for putting them in there anyway, so asked my ex to please find a place in a china cabinet or shelf. Then I decided that these very beautiful, intricuit pieces of silverware should be displayed as well, so I suggested someone put out a table setting with the pieces nicely displayed.

We got things tidied up and no one was there, so I thought it might be nice to dust. It was very dusty and there were huge spider webs. I mentioned the problem to my ex, not expecting any cooperation or help, because he doesn't care about messes or things being nice in any way. I was surprised that he actually seemed enthusiastic about helping. I suggested how he do it, (finding a rag and using some dusting oil/spray) but decided to just be content with how things turn out. I also pointed out some HUGE cob webs that could use some sweeping away.

Don't know how good a job he did. Didn't expect much, but then started focusing on the parking situation. I think some people were actually going to drive into the room to park in the back yard! In any case, it was getting late and people were not showing up.

There was something about food, too... don't remember what.

[unclesirbobbyrobson]

Hi Lilohehs

well dreams use people as symbols. So someone you do not like so much maybe stands for someone else that you really do not like... its like saying "Being in the same room as him is rathre like being in the same room as **** - I just cannot stand it"

Try to think how such themes link right now. Have you been forced to spend more time with anyone that you do not like? Have you been trying to avoid someone recently?

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People expect too much from dream dictionaries. Can you really expect a dream dictionary to provide an explanation of what your dream means simply because it included a particular symbol? It’s an absurd suggestion. The best comparison is to expect someone what a sentence means by just giving them one word within it. For instance to ask someone what a sentence means that includes the word "soldier". In reality the process in almost impossible. There are so many different ways that the word can be used that interpreting the dream just by spotting one word within it is simply ridiculous. The word soldier can be used in many different ways such as "I need to soldier on", "we have not got enough soldiers in Iraq", and "I want to be a soldier when I grow up".

So why do people expect a dream interpreter to be able to simply understand a dream by the inclusion of one symbol. In practice dream symbolism work in much the same way as ordinary dictionaries. A soldier can represent themselves but they can also be used in a wider context to show the types of qualities that a soldier exhibits (toughness and the ability to endure hardship and follow rules). So think how anyone of those symbolic meanings relates to recent events. It’s really important to use a process of association. Associate the dream symbol with real life thoughts. First ask yourself if the symbol could represent itself. Did you think of any real life soldiers the day before? But also consider the qualities that soldier’s exhibit. Did those same qualities have any relevance the day before? Did you need to follow rules and be disciplined? Did the same seem like a constant struggle? Also consider the day to come and see how that relates to possible symbolic meanings. Did you resolve to soldier on in some difficult situation?

Work though all the symbols in the same way and see what real life issues can best fit the real situation in your life. But also consider telepathy and premonitions as they too are part of the many aspects of dreaming.

Try these pages as they help you understand the process of dreaming

Dream dictionary symbols - How to analyse and interpret dreams
Dreams analyzed - How to use dreams symbols
Dream dictionary interpretation - How to interpret dreams
Dream interpreting - the police and security forces and their symbolic meaning

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[carlos]

something triggered some old issue to resurface in your life. you may have felt some emotion that you felt before during your marriage with your ex. maybe you felt that some aspect of someones life, or yourself was not care d for properly.

the feeling could be something as simple as a, "now you know what you are missing" attitude toward your ex.

you have a desire to make this right, but don't have much hope it will turn out as you wish.

[lilolehs]

Thank you.

It helps to think of my ex as symbolizing someone else. I am dealing with a relationship that seems to follow some of the same patterns as the one with my ex, only slightly different, which could explain the slight, surprising differences in my ex's behavior in the dream. If I think of it in those terms, I can see how the part where I seem to have accepted the apathy and lowered my expectations makes sense.

In the dream, I didn't mind his presense though, but appreciated it. I think that's why it disturbed me. I don't like to be around my ex because I lived with a man who barely tolerated me for 16 years, and then acted surprised (accused me of being demon posessed) when I'd had enough and wanted him to leave. This person that I've been dealing with for the last 3 years is very similar in the sense that he wants me near around, but when I'm close, he is unavailable.

I'm still puzzled as to why I dream about my ex-in-law's house, though. They are not part of my life at all. That also disturbs me.

[lilolehs]

Carlos,

Yes. I was definitely and distinctly triggered last Sunday in this relationship where I actually felt like this person reminded me of my ex and it scared me to the point of feeling physically ill.

And yes, this person is very confusing, I'm stuck and cannot seem to resolve or bring closure to it. And yes, I do not feel cared for, and don't really expect to.

This is troubling.

S

[carlos]

Originally Posted by lilolehs

Carlos,

Yes. I was definitely and distinctly triggered last Sunday in this relationship where I actually felt like this person reminded me of my ex and it scared me to the point of feeling physically ill.

And yes, this person is very confusing, I'm stuck and cannot seem to resolve or bring closure to it. And yes, I do not feel cared for, and don't really expect to.

This is troubling.

S

i think the dream might be trying to wake your intuitive sense and your rational sense that you are not ready to break the cycle that got you into your relation with your ex, and you might be repeating it again.

but then again, you may be traumatized by your ex, and the remnants of falling into another situation like with him may be cropping up at instances that seem to be similar to being with him.

the ex in-laws house may represent that you are changing your ways to meet his demands like you did with your ex, and you feel it will not be appreciated.

you have to do the souls searching. it seems lie you have fear of repeating this; whether it is unwarranted or warranted, I cannot tell.

[lilolehs]

Yes, all of that is true.

I do fear I'm unable to break this cycle. If only dreams could give answers, rather than revealing questions.

S

[carlos]

Originally Posted by lilolehs

Yes, all of that is true.

I do fear I'm unable to break this cycle. If only dreams could give answers, rather than revealing questions.

S

sometimes they do, but we are not ready to hear the answer. sometimes they pose questions. but the answer may be there if you are ready to hear it, and sit down and really just be totally honest with yourself.

Its hard for me to be absolutely sure of the answer because I really don't know you very well. if I knew you like a sister I could probably tell you the answer.

[lilolehs]

Thanks. A big bother could be a good thing right now.

I wonder if it could be in the cleaning up for the party and finding the antiques?

[carlos]

Originally Posted by lilolehs

Thanks. A big bother could be a good thing right now.

I wonder if it could be in the cleaning up for the party and finding the antiques?

the finding something good could mean that your are looking for something good in a similar situation that you feel you are in, or you fear you may be in. it seems you feel it wont be appreciated. basically, what is special to you, is not special in the parameters you are entering. that is another version of that.

whether it is your own fear based on being burned before, or reality is something you need to determine. this is when self knowledge comes in handy in interpreting your own dreams.

ideally you should be in your house, free of clutter and mess: in my opinion.