Dreams really effecting my waking life, I would like serious thoughts/advice please!

[leelajacks]

i want to discuss this with someone who has maybe had this happen;
it's happened to me before with other people in my life but not so strongly....and now it's happening again.
I met someone in waking life who i had no strong emotions for. I work with him and didn't know him or try to know him. Then I started having dreams about him which are very emotionally charged.
Then my relationship with him felt deeper in real life and we become friends.
This has been happening for the last two years with this work collegue. First dream was a horrible violent nightmare that felt almost lucid, and this man was there and saved my life in the dream. There was a tremendous closeness and intimacy( not sexual). then at work I began paying more attention to him and found a creative person I admire and a good work friend. in many other dreams, he just pops up to play a prominent role out of the blue. then came sexual undertones in some, others are just goofy like he is a sailor on a boat.....?

this makes no sense to me. what purpose could my subconsious have in making him so huge in my dreams? I am married and wouldn't date him anyway, truth be told. I can't imagine he represents some aspect of me, as these dreams started before i even really knew him!!!

all I know these dreams have forced me to look at him differently--or look at him at all, honestly!! and feel closer to him than i should, i guess. i can't help it and do not like it AT ALL. it is too weird.

i feel embarrased as i write. i wonder if i am a tad crazy. I'm so curious..are these dreams my mind trying to tell me something? It is SO DAMN wierd. btw i write bc I had a dream i had sex with him the other night. it bothers me alot. very much. Help!!

[Sowelu]

Hiya!

There's so much more to who we are than any of us really understands.

What if I said to you that there are no strangers to you the world over? What if I told you that you planned your life before you were born, and chose the people you'd meet and the growth you'd explore for yourself? What if I told you that this man in your dreams recently, and those from the past, and those in the future, are indeed reflecting aspects of yourself that you chose and planned to encounter when/if you were ready?

That often seems a bit much for people to take in, but it's far closer to the truth than the idea that you are an isolated physical being plopped here through a physical birth canal, having come from "just" an egg and seed mixing by chance so many years ago. And that everything you go through in life is completely unscripted and at the whim of chaotic elements coming together by some strange coincidence.

Anyway... if these were my dreams I'd consider the idea that the "Greater Me" was making it as obvious as possible that there is more going on in life than meets the eye. In other words... these dreams are invitations to open. Consider your life in a new way. Seek inward for the depth of potential that lives there.

On more mundane levels, each time we encounter a new male in our outer lives that has an impact on us, we are meeting up with a new masculine energetic potential within ourselves (incidentally, the same goes for meeting up with anything new in our lives, females, males, ideas, beliefs, etc.). We're growing. Because we don't recognize this masculine energy as ourselves and have no confidence or intimacy with this masculine energy yet, we meet up with it in the physical environment outside of us, interact with it and "get to know it". If we decide it's to our liking, we literally incorporate aspects of the energy exhibited by the person outside, into our own being.

If we decide we don't like it, btw, we still integrate it into our being, we just place it in a hidden compartment labeled "self-rejection"... to be opened and explored at some other time (it IS us already, so the integrating is a human level consciousness energy event. Sometimes we accept what we encounter, sometimes we reject it. What's accepted becomes part of our self identity. What's rejected becomes part of our shadow self).

All of life is relationship. We are forever seeking out parts of ourselves unknown, reflected to us via other people, and wanting to unify with them (guess what the symbol for this "unifying" is? Yep, sex. Sex in dreams is most often merely representing the idea of becoming intimate with the self energy the other person represents for us - and not to totally blow your mind, but that's exactly what it means in physical daily life too! We just don't typically have the consciousness to perceive these things yet). This is what soul or spirit-in-human-form comes here to do! First soul chose to forget who it truly is so it could come here at all, and then it spends all its time here collecting back up all those pieces of itself it forgot! And all of it is for the exciting and amazing Journey to remember. What are we remembering? Who We Truly Are. Which is ... Creator Itself, in form.

In truth you are all there is, everywhere you look. You just don't know it yet. Our perceptions of who we are here are so limited and small. But they are merely perceptions. Our human identities, who most of us think we are, are merely "limited self perceptions" taken on by our Greater Selves for the purposes of being here and experiencing life in this way.

The truth of us, the actual reality of our truth of being... is so much more vast and all-encompassing.

This is what flowed when I read your post, I hope it helps! Take or toss as you see fit, of course.

Blessings to you in discovering the life meaning in your dream messages!
Sowelu

[Wolfjk]

Hi
Sowelu very eloquently described the spiritual side of your life. I would like to point you towards the down-to-earth physical aspects of it.
When two people of different sex have close contact there is either attraction, reaction or indifference. You have a strong attraction to this person, in short, you are falling for him. It is possible to stay good friends but you'll need a lot of willpower to stay at a platonic level.
Regarding your dreams: they reflect the constant thoughts you have about this person while you sleep. Your subconscious uses some of this to control your sleep, wake you with a dream of him, satisfy your sexual desires, and generally control your level of consciousness and movements in sleep. In time these effects will abate. Infact, now you brought the subject into the open, you will hve less dreams about him.
Cheers Wolfjk
BTW, for the effects falling in love have on a person, see Shakespears plays!

[leelajacks]

Thank you both so much for responding, i hope that both of you are right. I do hope now that i have brought these dreams into the open, they stop!! Perhaps on a soul level I did know his person before. Maybe I need to incorporate his creativity into my own life. Perhaps the attraction in my dreams now leakin ginto life is a signal to wake up that part of myself. I wish I knew how to do that, but I'll give it a shot. I cannot tell you how much better I feel after talking about this and hearing back. Seriously, thank you both for taking the time to respond to my post.

[nowhereman]

I believe that dreams effect waking life because we allow them to. A while back I use to dream about a girl whom I loved deeply and dreamed about her frequently even after being married for many years. I even kept all the notes we passed back and forth in high school.

When at last ( after many many years ) I made a conscience decision that I was happy and I had been blessed with everything that a man truly needs in life instead of day dreaming of what I could have or what might have been, I burned all the letters and starting living in the moment and looking forward. The dreams went away.

I haven't seen her in my dreams for a very long time, but the last time (maybe 10 years ago ) when I woke, I dismissed her and haven't seen her since.

After speaking of her now, I wonder if she'll pop up? I doubt it and that is just fine by me.

Live simple, be happy and accept what you cannot change and do something about the things you can.

Sleep well

[leelajacks]

thanks nowhereman. I believe you are right.