**Graphic and Disturbing**

[laila]

When I was around 14 years old I had this dream. The dream was so vivid and real, I wrote it down the following day. Mind you it can be graphic and disturbing.

** My grandparents were Baptist and many things that go on in this dream would have upset them so much. I attended church with them 3 times a week. My grandfather was the senior pastor. So what happens in this dream would have never in a million years been allowed in their house.**


I was standing in the drive way to my grandparents house when I noticed they were not home, yet women were coming and going. I decided to walk into the house. Suddenly I noticed that a man (I have no idea who this man was, never seen him before the dream, he was probably 25-30 years old ) was asking the women to come into the master bedroom. I stood there in shock but didn't react the way I should have. It seemed to be some kind of audition. One at a time, the women went into the room. A few minutes later, they would come out. Being a kid I was unaware of what was taking place. So I stood there saying or doing nothing to stop what was going on in my grandparents house. Finally, he comes up to me and ask why I am there. I tell him who I was and why I was there. He said he was an out of town visiter and my grandparents allowed him to stay with them for a short time. Nieve as I was at that age, I believed him. Later he invites me into the room. I entered the room wondering what he had been doing in here all this time. He closed the door behind me and asked me to undress. So I did. Then he looked at me and said I was too young for the job, but that I was old enough to to loose my virginity. He told me to lay down on the bed. He stood in front of me for a few minutes and as he went to lay on top of me, just as he was fixing to enter me, I woke up! I could still feel the weight of his body and the warmth of his penis, even after I woke up.

Being a virgin and never knowing the touch, motion, or pressure from having sex, made this dream that much more disturbing. I felt like I had done something horrible and that I had disgraced my family and should have lost all respect from my grandparents. But none of it was real...so why did I feel that way? What was this dream about?

[Jennings]

The dream was about the growing awareness of your own sexuality and your attractiveness to men. It may also be partly connected to the ancient rites-of-passage into womanhood and possibly the natural underlying need to be deflowered with the awareness too of intimacy being part of adulthood.

Your feeling of disgrace were clearly caused by the religious dogma to which you were subjected since early childhood giving you this false sense of guilt.

[laila]

i never thought of it in that way. thanks