murdered hundreds of people

[ElfenLiedAnime]

Isee,...

well all i want is that these annoying feelings of anger, sadness and hatred woud stop

[Jennings]

What you described was how iron is shaped and tempered to make steel. Actually the iron has to be white-hot and almost to the point of molting. More often it will be submerged in oil rather than water to achieve the final products necessary hardness. The name for places that produce steel are either forges (for large items) or blacksmiths for smaller items. To make iron or steel of a specific shape the iron has to be heated until it is in its molten stage then it is poured into moulds made and shaped principally of sand. When the mould becomes cold it is broken and out pops whatever shape that was desired. Unfortunately, I cannot now recall the name of the places that make those iron/steel moulds. To make steel stainless an alloy has to be added to it.

It would not be easy to understand industrial processes unless you either worked, seen, or studied the subject so do not blame yourself for this lack of knowledge. There are few people around today who know of those processes. With age comes maturity and knowledge and a better understanding of one's own abilities and the limitation of the society in which we live. At aged 16 you are reaching the final months of your childhood. Next year you will feel more self-assured and at 18 you will be at the beginning of adulthood and around this stage you will have a more knowledge of life generally and with this you will probably feel more at ease within yourself. It will also help if you are working or doing something full time that suits your nature. Try to avoid, if you can, taking drugs, alcohol, or smoking, or being violent, and you will never regret it but the temptation when with your friends or when depressed or lonely can be very strong; so life is seldom easy for all of us. If it seems to others that it is then they are hiding behind a lie.

I know, especially at your age and in your circumstances, that it is difficult to be patient but avoid doing anything that is likely to make you regret it and especially later in life. If you are able to get into any of the armed services then join one.

[sailrmc]

This dream shows that you are in need of change or either in the midst of change. There are aspects that make up the person that you are that are requiring change of some kind. It appears as if you know the path of life that will take you where you want to go...where your goals can be fulfilled.
sailrmc

[ElfenLiedAnime]

Some friends of me take drugs and they ask if i want to try too but i always say no and they respect that. Some other friends of me say to never try it and never smoke.

Never had a sigaret in my mouth, and i never tryed drugs before. Dont even want to

And sometimes i got a compulsion to become very violent but i always try to keep myself calm. Till now on i always succeeded.

[Jennings]

Your need to be violent may have its roots in your earlier life, way back near its beginning. You may unknowingly be recreating this problem so you could benefit from someone like a counsellor or understanding adult. It sounds as if it is fear of reprisal that is stopping you from being violent. If so this might indicate that violence was part of your past life or early childhood. Were you, by chance, in the care of a children's home at any time?

You sound as if you are a sensitive, intelligent, and nice person, and those are excellent personality traits that you should try to preserve. It is good that you can keep from following in the wake of your friends; well done!

[ElfenLiedAnime]

Thx!

It was somewhat violent evryday in the childrens home like when they didnt get it there way som people living there woud kick doors till they are in several pieces or they woud rab a chair and trow it true the window or smash the chair against the wall till the wall woud be damaged i remember waking up cos of these things late in the night but i did the same if i was angry i woud take the door and smash it till its closed as hard as i coud and go to the garage to kick against a boxball they putted there if you where angry or somthing, also when i was younger ive seen my mother beated up by my bro cutted in her arteries i tought she was goin to die but she didnt she did 2 years later my bro was realy sorry for doin that, my aunts and uncles woud choke each other alot or beat each other with a broom when they where drunken cos my family lived in misery and so did i for the first 8 years of my life, but i dont think my life has been that bad at all i know people who had much worse. Acctualy i cant complain cos my mother loved me till she died.
That 8 years i always enjoyed my life even if almost evry night my mom woud be drunken and playing poker for money with the rest of my aunts and uncles
making the problems only worse

i had alot of nightmares of my mother when she died, she always had red demonic eyes hurting others but never me, but somhow it hurted me cos all i wanted was 1 more day with her to say goodbye. I knew she woud die very soon the last months of her life but she died when i was sleeping at a cousin of me then my bro came and told it to me and i didnt believed it, my cousin sad it was true but i didnt cryed like most woud do, i just had loads of nightmares and cry when i was alone

[Jennings]

I understand what it is like to lose someone close to you having lost 4 close family members, 3 of them in the past 12 years, but to lose a mother at the tender age of 8 must have been difficult. I understand the feelings too of hoping for another day and the sadness at not being there to say goodbye.

Violence has been the 'backdrop' to your life which partly, but not wholly, accounts for how you feel. Children from unhappy homes can be demanding but what took place, as described by you in the childrens' home, could be due to bad or incompetent management practices. I wonder why children, who should be asleep, should be demonstrating during night hours?

On the occasion when you demonstrated can you recall why you did it; how you felt that made you want to do it; how you felt afterwards; and what happened as the consequence?

Most people will understand how, for so long (since your birth), the suffering you have gone through, and the bad influence to which you have been subjected but, you have one thing to your favour which, at this time to your life, you are unlikely to appreciate but you will do eventually, and that is, you are a survivor and in this world of ours this is important. What you do with your life from now onward is what you make it for yourself; you can do silly things and never be free of trouble or, you can struggle (and it will be a struggle) to avoid trouble which will benefit you and those connected to you at a later stage. When you arrive at this point you will not regret having struggled.

What do you do with your life today? Are you still in an institution or, alternatively, do you have a 'pad' of your own?

[ElfenLiedAnime]

Well if i smashed the doors i just wanted to be alone, i hated it if they woud come after me and say STOP SMASHING THE DOORS!! But they never did. And im mostly home or when i go to my brother is mostly the only reason i go outside. The reason i dont want to go outside is most of the people of my age living here are annoying people all acting the wannabe gangsta way, all chosing a criminal messed up life with a lot of problems even if they coud live a nice life they chose the hard one. And my friends live to far away to go to them evryday. If i want to go i shoud take a bus and then walk like 30-45mins. Right now i live in a fosterhome for already 5 years.

The pad i want to chose is to be a good person and be free of trouble