Dream of my dead mum

[ttreaders]

Hi everyone, I would really like some help with this.

My mum died in Nov last year of cancer, she was given 3 months to live as it had spread to her brain, it was the worst time of my life - when she eventually passed away I was in so much pain, I have never felt pain like it and I feel that I couldn't possibly feel any worse than what I did then.

Now I am starting to get my life back on track. Back in January I had a dream that my mum told me she was fine and hugged me and I started crying - this was very comforting and I shared it with my family. A few weeks later I had another dream where I asked my mum whether she was in heaven and she replied, "no, I am in hell" when I asked her why she said, "I don't know".. it was very strange as my brother and best friend were sat with us and they didnt say anything.

I found this very distressing - my mum spent her whole life caring for people despite being badly disabled and always putting others first, how could she possibly be in hell?

It was also very confusing as she had already told me she was fine, I have also had dreams since that one where she has just been told she doesnt have long left, I know in my dream that she has already died but I get to see her face to face and talk to her and she has told me quite a few times now that she is ok.

Can anyone shed some light on this please?

Thankyou

[snow white]

I believe the dreams where your mother told you she was fine were real spiritual connections you had with her, and she is doing fine.

As for saying she was in hell, I think your paranoia that she could be in hell got the better of you, sometimes dreams say what you don't want them too because you're scared so your brain just interprets your fear into a dream (before the SATs a long time ago, I dreamt of failing them completely, same night I dreamt of doing very well on them, etc. all night long). You're mother is not in hell, but she may not be in heaven either, the afterlife may be much more complicated than we know, I think your brain entered that response in your dream to make it simple, not your mother. If she seems fine, she is.

[Leila1386]

I think you mum feels like she is in hell, because you are too upset and she can't move on. She feels like hell watching you being sad. You have to let her go. Tell her you are fine and OK now and you loke for her to move on.

[ttreaders]

Thankyou for your replies.

[Leidee]

Grieving is a deep and complicated process and I feel your dream is indicative of this. You may feel some conflicting emotions about the illness and eventual passing of your mother.

As much as I am able to provide assurance, as, whilst I am not religious I do not profess to know all of the possibilities of the existences in which we can exist, I would not interpret the dream to be a message that you mother is in hell.

Peace
L

[ttreaders]

Thanks Leidee. I have been told that it was my mum telling me she was in hell because of her having to see me so upset by 2 people now (one of whom is a bit further up the page). Others have told me it's due to my state of mind, fear of losing her, angry that she's gone, missing her etc that has given me these conflicting dreams.

I had a dream of her the other night and she said to me, "your not still angry with me are you?" which I explained to her of course not. I guess this is me feeling angry that she is gone in my subconcious and not realising it?

[Leidee]

There are a lot of emotions one goes through when someone passes and, although it may not seem to make any logical sense, feelings of anger and desertion can be amongst them.

It may be that you aren't angry at your mother but rather angry at the situation. How unfair it is. I mean, logically, we all know that death is a part of life but our emotions don't always follow logic!

Have you considered seeing a grief counsellor? Someone who can help you through the grieving process? Friends are wonderful and mean well, but sometimes to have an unbiased witness to our emotions can bring about a level of honesty we wouldn't normally share with our friends for various reasons.

Peace L

[ttreaders]

Thanks again for spending the time to write that Leidee, it helps more than you know. I think your write about the anger thing, death is part of life but it's so hard losing someone you love so much.

I went to the doctor the other day and have been given some antidepressants so hopefully they will help as I am going off eating - not even really feeling hungry and sleep is erratic.

Thanks again

[Varzandeh]

Hi,
Sorry for the loss and my condoleances.
If a deceased person hugged you means curing an illness and ending a sorrow for you, If a passed away person was laughing in the dream means he has died as a pagan..
Crying of a passed away person means a happiness .
She said she was in the hell has several meanings : first as the holly books say: everybody honest or dishonest first enters the hell because there has been so many uncountable blessings here for us that nobdy can thank for them .Second the more one is honest the more he should be thankful also there in the after life we only review our life with a true conscious and for every tiny deed we will have a happiness or a sorrow a deep sorrow so deep that is unbearable.
Third for the people who are passed away and can't have any more deeds you can do charities for their sake with their name any tiny good deeds and charities they will receive like a dish of light that they can use or they can be in rst with that.
Good luck.