Cheating (adultry)

[flynnc8]

Hi all,

I really need some help on a reaccuring dream that I have been having since I fell pregnant with my daughter in september 2005.

I am almost 20 years of age and have been seeing my current partner for just shy of 3 years, but ever since I feel pregnant very early into our relationship I have been constantly having dreams that my partner is cheating on me.

The part that hurts is that i am always in the room and my partner is fully aware of this fact, it is also one of my friends (different one each time) that he is cheating with, these are people that he has not even met.. he goes on to say terrible things to me within the dream such as me being a bad mother and bad girlfriend..

I constantly wake up crying every time i have this dream and it is beginning to take its toll on my confidence and insecurities.
my friends have told me that dreams dont always mean exactly what you see, so i would really like some sort of answers...

if anyone can help me in anyway it would be much appriciated, they are becoming more of a nightmare rather than a dream recently....

[Lucian]

My initial thoughts on the matter would be to say that it is a matter of trust. Perhaps, deep within your mind, you believe that you cannot completely place your faith in your partner, let alone your friends. Have you ever really been betrayed in your life before? This may be a problem of unresolved issues regarding trust not with your partner but with somebody in your past that truly hurt you.
Also, a lot of the problems within the dream consist of the matter of your self-confidence. For instance, you say that at the end of your dream, your partner always says very demeaning things to you. Well, sometime in the past you may have been called that, or have subconsciously been afraid of being called it (were you particularly scared of being a mother when you first got pregnant?), and thus the dream may be a certain method of coping with those fears. If not this, than perhaps you are afraid of the future, either as a parent or as a spouse, since you stated that he often cheats in the dream with friends he has not met.
I am not asking you to trust me on this matter--it is not my forte--but I will give you a little advice, being heavily versed through experience in therapy. Talk to your partner about this matter and express your fears, either of trust or self-esteem or whatever you believe it is, and inform him of your insecurities. The greatest key to your relationship (and this will help with the trust issue, if any) is a huge amount of communication. Listen to him and decide for yourself if you believe him, and go from there. This should help resolve the dream.
Good luck, and godspeed.

[flynnc8]

Thanks lucian.

Each of the points you made are so very valid especially in regards to my fears surrounding the issues of motherhood.... However my partner and i have openly discussed the dreams on a number of occasions (obviously he is more reluctant and defensive) however we have talked to no avail..

thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post, on reading your answer i realised that many of the factors are indeed my own insecurities, something that i maybe should have paid more attention to from the beginning..

Thanks again..

[cypipe]

Having a child soooo young leaves you (especially him) open to mid-issues..........like "what have I missed?" or "what else is out there?" or "is this it?" or "will I have a nice house and SUV?"

I think the biggest thing is neither of you know the full extent of life yet... this slows you down.....BUT

I know a lot of very rich and happy people who started out the same way you have! They've learned to fight and win (and lose i'm sure) from a "reduced starting point"

Good luck

Andrew

[Varzandeh]

Hi,
To have sex with a known girl means he will do her a favor , a help nothing else, perhaps by your request.
If he ahd sex with an unknown girl it simply means he will have a chance at work.
If a man dreamt his wife took a man hme and had sex with , it is a symbol that means the hubby will receive a good deal of money.
So, it is possible that this symbol ir correct with a wife dreaming her hubby to have sex that means some good money on the way in a month or two.
For more info please see the words " Mariage" , Sex" and woman" here in the dream Dictionary Advanced , Using search.



Dream language interpretation is an ancient science of allusions and pointing of the surrounded environment, as Mr. Einstein has said the events are like train stations which exist and we are moving towards them, these are prewritten destiny with some authority ( in decision making seconds) in very full details. This dream language should be translated, and interesting to know it is international and common for all human beings. But ignorance causes some misunderstanings.People were not aware of this language and always thought in a bad way , for example Mr. Freud said about sexual dreams it is because you have suppressed your sexual desires so misled everybody and some women dreamt about having sex with co-workers or another and thought they should do that, while it only meant he will do something for her, or some others dreamt had sex with the same sex and invented homosexual, while it meant the same ,Also some men dreamt his wife had sex with a man and didn't understand or a woman dreamt her partner had sex with a woman and didn't' understand ...etc.Do you see what catastrophes are caused by misunderstanding a language. About the approximate interpretation time table: Dreams at noon or exactly at midnight( In the summer time 13 at noon and 1 midnight else at 12)in the same day if past a few minutes, a few days later. Dreams at 10-11 in the morning in 15-30 days later. Also dreams at 3-4 in the evening in 1-2 months .Dreams in the sunset mostly are not truthful and are messed, they have no interpretations, Dreams at 4-5 in the morning in a few days to 2 months some dreams in the holy books( Josef dream of kneeling the sun and the moon and 11 stars)was interpreted after 20 years and other dreams of the Pharaoh's prisoners interpreted in the same day and after 7 years. Dream of Pharaoh about the 7 thin cows and 7 fat cows interpreted from the next year to 14 years. Also dreams in 6th of the month will interpret after 1-2 days, in 9th at the same day, in 10th after 20 days, in 13th after 9 days in 14th after 26 days and in 15th after 3 days, in 16th after 2 days and in 28th ,29th ,30th in the same day, but these are solar (Persian months and you should refer to a calendar or convert them) . Of course there are different kinds of dreams , like messy dreams which have no interpretations or deja vu dreams, or psychological dreams or dreams which are caused by bad food or drinks.

Bibliography:
1- Principles of the dreams, by Daniel the prophet (562-604 B.C) Peace be on him.
2-Divisions of the dreams, by Imam Sadeq peace be on him ( 663-798 A.C).
3- Generals of the dreams, by Mohammad ibn Syrin ( 690 A.C).
4- Guides in the dreams , by Jaber ibn Hay'an( Father of the new chemistry)
5- Interpretations, by Ibn Ash'as ( 840 A.C).

[NEPHILIM]

I believe that a lot of females go thrugh that. What you can not face in the real world your dreams will tell you. Tell your boy your dream and see what he says. I am sorry you are having that dream.

[unclesirbobbyrobson]

Dreams can sometimes feed off dreams. So try to just forget them. That might help.

------------------------
Many people write dream diaries. But actually it would be better if they wrote a normal diary. A diary is basically the highlights of the previous day and the things that are important to you. Dreams are exactly the same. Once understood they would symbolize those key moments and turning points in your feelings. So instead of interpreting the dreams try first to guess what the most likely issues are that you would dream about. Think of exactly the same things that you would write in a diary. Once decoded the dreams would symbolize exactly what you think on the key subjects dominating your mind. Think of quotes that capture your feelings such as "my father seems very quiet. I think that something is very wrong. He often starts going quiet when something happens". You may not be able to understand the exact nature of the symbols.


Dream symbolism and dream dictionary interpretation - How to interpret dreams Interpreting dreams
Dream symbolism - How to use dream symbols Triggers for dreams
Dream dictionary - A modern and well researched dream dictionary showing how symbols can be interpreted in practical analysis Dream dictionary

[sdcross778]

we started out the same way, had kids starting at the age of 18, it is sooo hard exspecially since our first child ended up having autism. We actually did go through the whole infidelity thing, as he was so young and not ready to grow up at the time.I think now looking back, it was a good thing that he got it out then instead of later on in our marriage.(we werent married at the time) It was a painful process for me because I never took the time out to do the same thing, I wanted to be strong and do the right thing. While we were trying to raise a baby, our friends were out having fun and being kids. Anyways, things do work out in the end...we had nothing started out and now we have everything we need and want. The biggest thing I want to stress to you is that you need something for your own self worth...take advantage of any help you can get and go to school. At my school, we have a daycare for our small ones. We started out on welfare and now we are in the higher income bracket, beautiful home and yes, our own suv. Things have a way of working out.(we are in our twenties, so my my, how things change)Being a mother is probably the hardest thing you will ever do in this life adn the most important so take care of yourself and keep moving, always keep it moving or else depression can creep up on you. This is not the end, just the beginning....plan your life as you would if you didnt have any children, just make some adjustments. Once you feel good about yourself, these dreams wont bother you as much, or you might stop having them altogether. I personally, dont think having the dreams is all that odd, since you maybe subconsciously addressing your fears about the future. Relax, whatever comes your way, will pass and be history. Who you are now, wont be who you are in 5 or 10 years. I wish the best for you, as I have walked in your shoes....you can do this and you will do this. Good Luck.

[MichelleM78]

Originally Posted by flynnc8

Hi all,

I really need some help on a reaccuring dream that I have been having since I fell pregnant with my daughter in september 2005.

I am almost 20 years of age and have been seeing my current partner for just shy of 3 years, but ever since I feel pregnant very early into our relationship I have been constantly having dreams that my partner is cheating on me.

The part that hurts is that i am always in the room and my partner is fully aware of this fact, it is also one of my friends (different one each time) that he is cheating with, these are people that he has not even met.. he goes on to say terrible things to me within the dream such as me being a bad mother and bad girlfriend..

I constantly wake up crying every time i have this dream and it is beginning to take its toll on my confidence and insecurities.
my friends have told me that dreams dont always mean exactly what you see, so i would really like some sort of answers...

if anyone can help me in anyway it would be much appriciated, they are becoming more of a nightmare rather than a dream recently....

In my opinion (I am not an expert) I think this dream is all about your self esteem. Unfortunately as women we all face obstacles that constantly beat down our self esteem. The fashion world shows us that if we have curves then we need to diet to the point of a 12yr old boy's figure. Then there is peer pressure which does get easier as you get older. You will learn a lot in the next couple of years. I remember when I was around 21 I felt invincible....of course it fades by about 22. I think the fact that you are yound and a mom you feel a little tied down and insecure. I am just guessing here but do the friends that he suppossedly has an affair w/ have kids? My guess is no. I think your subconcious is just playing tricks on you. I think you are scared that you will lose him b/c you are afraid he feels tied down at a young age. I think you are afraid that people are judging you as a mother b/c of your age.

I think everything will work itself out and I don't think that these dreams will come true. One word of advice "Try saying to yourself...I am a great mother and girlfriend." It may help build your self esteem a little.

I hope this helps. Oh I do have one question....Why hasn't he met your friends? Do you have trust issues w/ them or are you scared he may run off w/ one of them?

[flynnc8]

Thanks for all the posts and i will definitly sit a side and reassure myself each day that i know I am a good mom and a good girlfriend...

In regards to him meeting my friends, he has met a number of my friends mainly in my inner circle. The friends in the dreams are girls from school and girls from my home town, people he wouldn't normally come in contact with.

A true point which was also touched on was _ None of the girls have children. This I hadn't noticed before, the more I read into this dream the more I understand the issues that are within it..