Best friends..sticky one

[ENYGMA]

I didn't know what to call this dream but the back ground in short is i moved here to paradise 2 years ago and met up with a male friend of mine (childhood boyfriend) who I had a lot of fun with when i was seven, eight nine ten eleven twelve ) and 36 years later (now) we picked up where we left off and had a terrific time together which to me was just such fun and old times and companionship (I am very happily married for 30 years.....he has been divorced for 15 years)...we go fishing, we chat about his daughter who is at a difficult age (he taught me to fish when I was small and he is a bit younger than me). Anyway, he is very high profile in my country and thought it so nice I don't care about that cos we just little kids again.... STOOOPID but I thought our companionship, seeing my husband is away for 3 weeks in a month...was good fun. Well I had fun. He said he needed a woman so I said I know him so well I will find him one. I did...my best friend from my city corporate life (divorced ....available ). We all had a great weekend...she went back to that awful place. he called me up to come around and proceeded to tell me that I was the one for him.........well things have never been the same since.... seeing he ignored her then had a hectic weekend with her then dropped her and has not contacted her again so I am in between cos he accepts I love my husband more than life so he has not contacted me either and I miss him TERRIBLY and have been trying to just "bump" into him so we can have our friendship back but could NEVER have any sort of LOVE relationship with him......whew......so this is heavy on my mind and last night I dreamt this (bear in mind he has a MANSION in my town):

My friend Steph was here for another weekend......she loves it here and it is a far cry from the hectic city. I know she is dying to bump into him but says she is over him (which she is continuously telly me in real life and i lied to her the other day saying he has new girlfriend now.....cos I can't tell her he actually wants me or someone like me and we (me and Steph) are total opposites). Suddenly I find myself in his house......(for reasons unknown to me he has always kept me away when his mother visits....strange at first but there is a history to that...she was best friends with a close relative of mine and it fell flat....I adored his mother but have been kept away when she is there in real life aince I got here 2 years ago...so I just accept it?????) I am with someone, can't remember who but I am aware I have NO make up on and am in my peach pajamas....I walk down some stairs with this person and there he is so I say "Oh Hi!" He seems shocked I am there and I feel uncomfortable. Then he comes to me and says "lets go get a roast pig and a hond (dog!!!!) we don't eat dogs here.....infact the connection I have with him is I have 5 dogs and he has 4 and we are so protective of them). I am thinking "oh NO Stephanie is at my house and wants to go to Guido's where they do the best sea food pasta"......but I am so torn cos I CAN'T tell him she (STEPH) is here and I want to be with her and I want to be with him but not together....... Then he says "Oh here is mum" so I run to find my room in my peach pajamas and I can't find the door...there is another door with no handle on so I PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH it open and see my husbands brother in there so try to pull it closed and I am just not strong enough...so I find my bedroom door and I can't open it I am just too weak..and I am worried now ...I am in my peach pajamas and his Mom who is a bit formiddable is gonna find me in peach pajamas with no make up ....and I SHOT AWAKE!

This dream is telling me something........ to be truthful .....I miss my friendship with him but I don't love him like a lover . She worked for me and we became very close but to be truthful...I miss him more......what does this dream mean? I feel I have lost him as a pal, and I hate that.

Sorry so disjointed but you should feel what I feel inside and please don't say he and I should be together cos it just is wrong.........we can be pals, nothing else.

[sdcross778]

You know, this is a sticky situation...your husband is away for 3 weeks at a time or just one time? It seems to me that he is filling a void in your life, this friend of yours. If it were me and I loved that time we spent together(just making sure your not in any kind of denial) I would not contact him if you love your husband...does he know the time you guys are spending together while he is away...would he be happy about that....does he knwo how this guy feels about u..those are questions I would be asking myself. I would also be asking myself if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with someone who is only available to me a week out of the month. Im not one for divorce or extra marital affairs, but if the table were turned...I would be hurt if my spouse was spending that kind of time with another woman and he knew that she was inlove with him and he never told me. IMO, I think part of you is inlove with this guy, but your morals and values probably along with guilt and fear, are in conflict with that. If I didnt know any better I would say you found a kindred spirit.... Be careful...it seems the ball is already rolling at high speed. I dont know your husband, but I feel this is an emotional affair already. You need to find out which side of the fence your going to be on and make it final or else that is going to get nasty.

[ENYGMA]

Hi there

Tks...I knew this ....I just needed confirmation...I love my husband more than life....I loved him in my past life ...I love him in this life and I will love him in my next life. I have not seen my friend but I was hoping it would be a friendship but it appears that he is probably in love with me and like a true friend ...has decided he can't see me which I am sad about but admire him for. I miss him terribly but I am not on the same plane as him and just needed someone to tell me this.

The ball has stopped rolling here and I sincerely hope he finds someone who was made for him and loves him like I love my man and now appreciate why he has not contacted me......

Tks...just needed confirmation on my own thoughts...why cant adult females and males just be friends......it is just not possible ..never ever works.....and I do miss him.

[Pamela May]

This situation you have found yourself in is very dangerous - the open doors, no escape all show you that - I wondered why I hadnt heard from you for so long.

[sdcross778]

En, I dont see any problem with having friends of the opposite sex, but your friend is inlove with you and your married. The danger in that is your husband is gone alot, your spending that time with a man who is inlove with you, the more time you spend with him the harder it will be to appreciate your husband, exspecially since he works alot. For you, you needed companionship, for him, he needs a partner in life. Your best bet would be to find a female companion who can hang out with you while your husband is gone. Good Luck

[ENYGMA]

Originally Posted by sdcross778

En, I dont see any problem with having friends of the opposite sex, but your friend is inlove with you and your married. The danger in that is your husband is gone alot, your spending that time with a man who is inlove with you, the more time you spend with him the harder it will be to appreciate your husband, exspecially since he works alot. For you, you needed companionship, for him, he needs a partner in life. Your best bet would be to find a female companion who can hang out with you while your husband is gone. Good Luck

No....My husband was with me in my last life and will be with me in my next......I love him more than life and my friend will never take the place of my husband cos I know I am the love of his life and he is of mine. Guess I may have lost a friend though and that is sad.