husband & I go to Ex's house

[hazelflame]

Can anyone please help with this dream?? First off I have been married now for 4 years with two happy & beautiful children. And we just moved back to our home state and city through the military in October. Well, there was this guy when I was 13-16 that we had an intimate & close relationship. He was my first real boyfriend, and we were really crazy about eachother....So much infact that after almost 2 yrs I felt the need to break it off, because we were already talking about getting married. I loved him, but I knew that we were Way too young...(I also knew the longer I stayed with him, the harder it would become to break it off; & so I Never would) So I did. After succeeding in it, he made me promise if he changed his ways(He would get into some trouble) then we would someday in the future get back together; So I promised him we would.

Except we never did..and so I moved on with my family. Sometimes I'd run into him at a store..but it was like nothing. Oh, and awhile after we broke up he started getting into alot of trouble with the law & drugs.

The Dream: I was with my current husband and we were getting off the car. We walked into my ex-boyfriends parents house were he grew up. I saw his mother and she let us in. She looked a little older, and I noticed her limping on one leg- maybe crutches? THere was a water bed in a room where the garage was suppose to be. Anyway, we started talking to each other. As I started to look around I noticed that my ex & his sister where not their.

So kept talking to her to see how things were going with them. I asked,"So hows the family." Choosing my words wisely because (His mom & sister kinda hated me because of our relationship) She said," Keeping busy." I started to feel a little relieved that he was doing better, although I wasnt completely sure what he had been up to. I started to tell her how we moved away for 3 yrs in Nj (True) & how different the other states we traveled through are Compared to Texas, S.A. "Every other state is spread out, while here it is compacted with stores and people." (True) THen she brought up how she understood because her ancestors where from England. (Dont know if thats true, or what that has to do with it)

While talking to her I felt like there was finally some understanding between us, & felt like she saw me & respected me as an adult rather than a child like she once did.

THen we walked out of the garage and went to the living room couch. In between the living room & garage is the Kitchen. My husband was playing with my Ex's Younger brother. He had bright blond hair & blue eyes (just like his older brother) I think they were talking and sticking out their tounges while laughing (Being childish).
Then my Ex's mother saw my son walking fast in front of her (He's 15mnts). She said,"Aww..look at those curls!" In my dream I started to remember my ex's baby pictures from years ago, he had blonde curls. I wondered if my ex's younger brother would say anything to him about us after we left.

Im not sure what this dream means because I dont ever think my husband would go to my ex's house, and Plus I've never had a dream with so much detail involving my ex & family. It felt like I was really their; walking around, talking about things in the present. What does this mean??

[hazelflame]

Okay, maybe this info helps;
I am 25yrs now, & I just realized that by this may it would be exactly 10 years since we made that promise & broke up.

[dreamworld]

HazelFlame,

When you think of your ex what does it bring up for you?

Regret, the feeling that you made the right decision or indiffernet?

Of course I would accept you to always have a very soft spot for him...but what do you want know?

Have you seen him recently and how has it made you feel?

Perhaps you want him to be part of your present life know hence your husband and child going with you to his house and you meeting his mother (do you feel more confidant around her know which is why shes more accepting of you - or more accepting because she knows you would have been good for her son, or because you are married and therefore not a threat to her?).

Waterbed where there should be a garage - emotions (water) in place of mechanical things? Thee is softness where there was hardness before...(perhaps with the mother)

The children of the house were no longer here (grown and gone? no longer available to you in your world)

And you are careful about your words with the mother (you want to prove her wrong about what she thought?)

And things become more intimate and comfortable (as you go to the living room) and your husband is having a good time with the ex' brother - comfortable-
he trusts you


You see the resemblance between your child and your ex -
do you ever wish that you had a child with him?

And you wonder whether you will be mentioned to him -
and do you want to be mentioned to him?


Some say that a house represents the dreamer - Im not sure - whether it would represent you or him...

It may just mean that in real life you are close in proximity to someone who was (and may always be) important to you.....you may be curious as to how he feels about you know but he is absent from the scene....you two ended the relationship for a reason and didnt get back togeather for a reason - it may seem years later that it was a great relationship but there must have been flaws even though you may have had the best time with this guy and at a age where, well its just a magical age to be in love ...its natural for questions to arise when you see an old flame....you have to answer those questions....

Of course I could be totally wrong - as I often am

[hazelflame]

I appreciate your interpretation dreamworld...the thing is the last time I saw him was right before we left Tx 3 yrs ago at the grocerie store. And Im sure I havent seen his mother in about 10 yrs....I dont know maybe somehow my relationship now is connecting into my past relationship through dreams? Oh, and when you say Comfortable,-and he Trusts you. Who are you talking about?

[dreamworld]

your husband......

......the dream itself may be about uniting the old with the new, past with.... present....or it could be as simple as your subconcious preparing you that you may bump into him somewhere....but its allowing you to deal with those feelings know....

[hazelflame]

Maybe you could be right...but prepare me for what exactly?? I mean when I ran into him in the past a few times, it was like nothing. I know he saw me. So why would this time be any different?

I guess I'm just wondering because I did always feel guilty for ending things, even though I knew it was the best thing for me. He also dug a deep hole for himself the years after we departed (with law & drugs) I always wished I could have done something..I even tried to talk to his grandmother about it & once when he was their locked in his room to Ashamed to come out (about 3-4yrs later)

But I have a strange feeling that things might be better for him from a previous dream I had a couple of weeks ago I posted before: He was on a motorcycle and stopped to smile at me.

I guess I keep telling myself that there's no reason for me to still have these dreams or feelings. So why would I if there wasnt a reason for them? It should have stopped a long time ago...but its like he wont confront me to end this...!?

[dreamworld]

Originally Posted by hazelflame

Maybe you could be right...but prepare me for what exactly?? I mean when I ran into him in the past a few times, it was like nothing. I know he saw me. So why would this time be any different?

If you saw him and felt nothing thats good and means that deep down your not harbouring feelings of what could have been....

Originally Posted by hazelflame

I guess I'm just wondering because I did always feel guilty for ending things, even though I knew it was the best thing for me. He also dug a deep hole for himself the years after we departed (with law & drugs) I always wished I could have done something..I even tried to talk to his grandmother about it & once when he was their locked in his room to Ashamed to come out (about 3-4yrs later)

You shouldnt give yourself the guilt trip for that - its a decision your entitled to make and no one wants someone to stay with them b/c they feel sorry for them.....theres nothing you could have done - only he could do that

Originally Posted by hazelflame

But I have a strange feeling that things might be better for him from a previous dream I had a couple of weeks ago I posted before: He was on a motorcycle and stopped to smile at me.

Even in this dream - there was a protective figure (mother) a child (brother) - so maybe he is ok?

Originally Posted by hazelflame

I guess I keep telling myself that there's no reason for me to still have these dreams or feelings. So why would I if there wasnt a reason for them? It should have stopped a long time ago...but its like he wont confront me to end this...!?

You said although you dont feel anything for him you still feel guilty and maybe thats the reason your dreaming about him....

Do you sense that he angry with you in real life for having 'abandoned' him?

[unclesirbobbyrobson]

Hi hazelflame.

well you say that your ex would never tgo to your exs house. Thats not true as dreams are about feelings. Of course he visists there and so do you. Its about checking up on how you did. Dreams to me monitor and reflect on life. This dream is kinda like an essay. The title is

"Should I have stayed with my ex in that relationship? Compare you life now to how it would be if you would have stayed with him"

Dreams then are like a little debate within ur minds. We discuss in symbols and images. Did you make the right choice? How is he doing? What about my son? Surely I would not swap my life for anything now? Or would I?

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The connection between dreams and the day before the dream is really very strong. Its stronger than you would imagine. Thats because of the way that the mind is built. We store up memories in short term memory blocks. Then at nighttime we work through these and proceed to transfer them and integrate them into the long term memory banks. So always look for a possible explanation from the day before. In fact try to spot intuitions as they develop in your mind. What made you stop and think the previous day? What relationships have you been thinking about? What strong fantasies or paranoia's have been on your mind?

Of course a dream may have a different meaning. Dreams can be premonitions and can link to deep telepathy. But really do not pursue such explanations before you have at least tried some more mundane explanations. A dream may simply link to some simple everyday emotion.

The following pages above all help you to learn the basics of dream interpreting

Dream symbolism and dream dictionary interpretation - How to interpret dreams Interpreting dreams
Dream symbolism - How to use dream symbols Triggers for dreams
Dream dictionary - A modern and well researched dream dictionary showing how symbols can be interpreted in practical analysis Dream dictionary

[hazelflame]

What do you mean its about checking up on how I did? and I dont think my Husband would go to my ex's house. SO Im not sure what you mean by that either.
I think this dream is more complex than just an emotion I had..because it has been almost 10 yrs since I have been dealing with it. Sure it always goes away...but always finds away back. When it should be done with already...especially if all it was was just a lost emotion.
Some dreams represent Symbols also...and if theres anyone who could give me a valid answer Or definition of this dream.....please do so.