Dreaming about my mom - deceased 14 months ago

[CancunLaura]

Normally I don't take dreams too seriously. I know that they are an extension of issues going on subconsciously. But....
For the past 2 months or so, I have been dreaming about my mother every night, several times a night. On occasion, my husband, who passed 6.5 years ago is there as well.

There is nothing really tangibly disturbing about the dreams, but still they disturb me. The dreams take place in different places - former homes we lived in, or ones I've never seen before, and in the dreams my mom and husband are alive, tho, even during the dream I know they are not. I often wake myself up talking to them in my sleep.

After my husband died, I had dreams of him for a few weeks, but then they stopped. I'm curious why after 14 months, I'm starting to dream about my mom, and my husband every night. Am I missing something?

Thanks for any input.....

-CancunLaura

[Jennings]

Having lost your husband you will be conversant about grieving and the stages one needs to go through. Currently it seems that you are still progressing through those stages and are missing them both in your life. When my grandson, this Xmas spoke about his aunt (my daughter) who passed over 4 years ago, he said sadly, "Why can't things be what they used to be like"? It almost sounds similar to how you might be feeling at a deeper level which is being hidden during the day due to normal domestic and social demands. Emotional healing after the loss of a loved one varies considerably and there are some who never surmount the grief. It does look as if you are still in its throes.

[CancunLaura]

I suppose that could be it. It just seems so different in comparison to when I grieved my husband, and the timing, so far after the fact has me a bit confused. I also don't know where the houses/apartments - past and never seen fit in.

There's no manual that comes with grief and loss and I know it's different for everyone. I still miss them both and doubt that will ever really go away. I just wish the dreams would give me a clearer message if there is one to be had.

Thanks again for your input. It's truly appreciated.

[Jennings]

There does not appear to be any message to your dream other than evidence that you are still emotionally coming to terms with the loss of loved ones to your life. After 45 years of being together I lost my first wife and it took a gargantuan effort to climb out of the valley-of-death where the walls are very steep. I soon recognised that I was coming to terms with the pangs of grief (but slowly) but the loneliness involved was sending me bananas! It drove me to the lonely-heart's circuit where 10 months later I met my now second wife and we have been together for almost 9 years. Finding another partner did not resolve the grief but it did advance the healing processes. When my first wife died the love that I had for her was still there inside of me but it required another focus which I found in my second wife. I do hope that you might be able to do something likewise. This idea may be difficult to accept but life is unquestionably for the living and adaptation is the name of the game.

[CancunLaura]

My husband was the love of my life and I know it's not likely I'll find something like that again. If it does happen I'll be open to it, but I'm not looking. I think losing the 2 most important people in my life will make it difficult for me to let someone ever get that close to me again. But, one never knows and while I've shut the door, it's not bolted.

Thank you for your wisdom and help Jennings. I am happy you found someone to help you along your path.

[Wolfjk]

Originally Posted by CancunLaura

My husband was the love of my life and I know it's not likely I'll find something like that again. If it does happen I'll be open to it, but I'm not looking. I think losing the 2 most important people in my life will make it difficult for me to let someone ever get that close to me again. But, one never knows and while I've shut the door, it's not bolted.

Thank you for your wisdom and help Jennings. I am happy you found someone to help you along your path.

Hi,

I think losing the 2 most important people in my life will make it difficult for me to let someone ever get that close to me again. But, one never knows and while I've shut the door, it's not bolted.

Perhaps it is time to open the doors to someone closer, and more interests and hobbies in your life. At your age you need a close companion. Perhaps the reason you dream so often of your past life, is that you have too little interest in anything else.
I hope you go out and make a new life for yourself.
Cheers Wolfjk

[CancunLaura]

Hi Wolfik,

Please don't misunderstand. I haven't shut the door on life. I date, I have friends, I work and have a social life. It's just the idea of being in love with someone again is very frightening for obvious reasons. But as I said, I haven't ruled out the possibility, I'm just not looking for it.

Thanks for your thoughts,
Laura

[unclesirbobbyrobson]

well when we have constant dreams about the same people it can often mean that you are very much inside your own thoughts. That these people are created inside your head. That because they are lacking in real life you craete the,. So when they speak they represent the feelings and almost fantasy world. I am not trying to say that you are deluding yourself or living out some fantasy. Yet these people could be part of some world inside yourself..

I would not worry too much
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Dreams use symbols. In real life you will say something like "I need to be recognised and accepted. I just seem to constantly fighting against peopel who do not respect me in the way that they should". yet a dream will also express such a concept but in symbolic form. You maybe fighting in the dream. That symbolises the struggle in your life.

Also remember that the day before the dream is especially important in the dream. Many dreams link top specific feelings that we felt yesterday as we reform our emotions.

These pages are especially helpful in showing you how to interpret dreams

Dream symbolism and dream dictionary interpretation - How to interpret dreams Interpreting dreams
Dream symbolism - How to use dream symbols Triggers for dreams
Dream dictionary - A modern and well researched dream dictionary showing how symbols can be interpreted in practical analysis Dream dictionary

[MichelleM78]

I think dreaming about your husband and mother should be seen as a blessing. I always welcome my deceased loved ones in my dreams....I think of them as little visits! I lost 2 grandparents and a great aunt over 10yrs ago and I still on occassion dream of them. Another grandmother has popped up in dreams years later too. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone

[MichelleM78]

Originally Posted by CancunLaura

My husband was the love of my life and I know it's not likely I'll find something like that again. If it does happen I'll be open to it, but I'm not looking. I think losing the 2 most important people in my life will make it difficult for me to let someone ever get that close to me again. But, one never knows and while I've shut the door, it's not bolted.

Thank you for your wisdom and help Jennings. I am happy you found someone to help you along your path.

Leave the door unlocked. When you hear a knock then open the door. It doesn't hurt to meet new people.