Troubling Dreams

[Starscream]

I'm new to this forum, but dreams have always fascinated me. Lately though, i've been having dreams where I am happy for once, but that is soon stripped away from me when I wake up into the real world.

About 3 years ago I had a troubling breakup with a girl, who ever since I still hold onto this idea that someday, I will be able to talk to her and we could try to be together. As time went on I slowly lost interest in remembering the past between us, but I can't help but have the memories creep up on me whenever I walk down a street or have a simple thought that reminds me of our relationship.

Since then I have tried to date other women, and it isnt like I don't want to date, I am just not interested in any of them. After the break up I have tried making contact with her, but I did it in such childish ways, that I know now why she didnt want to start a converstation.

But I tend to have dreams with her in it, us being back together and it is such a good feeling, that the dream is so breath taking, that when I wake up and realize it didn't happen, I can only sigh and have it bother me the rest of the day. Last night was the worst of them all.

I recently quit smoking weed, it will be 36 days sober after today, and I quit in the hopes that maybe that was one of the many reasons she dosent speak to me anymore (that being one of the things i would ask to do with her when we would speak). I have been having alot of dreams recently of me smoking if that means anything?

To the good part I suppose. Alot of it is vauge now, but all I remember is being on a path that I jog down, and overlooking a lake with a beautiful sunsey overcasting the sky, and dinosaurs drinking water down near the lake, and of course am in a lushish jungle. I look over and there she is, and we hug, I felt that (the feeling of being hugged that is) and then kissed her nose.

After I looked away from her, there was no more dinosaurs, but hippos all in a line on both sides of the path, and one alagator behind us about 10 feet away. I started to stare it down to protect her, and I can feel this fear grow inside me, but I lure the alagator to one of the hippos and the hippos kills it.

I'm not sure what part this happened, but I remember sitting at a coffe table with her and her brother, and she is smoking weed out of a pipe, and I hit it once, then say how im going to regret that. I also vaguly remember me and her being chased into the woods by some form of authority figure.

Sorry that was alot, I just need to understand why I continue to have dreams about smoking weed and dreams with her in it. My good friend said I need closer and I know I need that, I just want to do it the proper way. I am soon to write her a letter about my feelings in hope that my honesty gets some answear from her.

Please help me

PS. I hope to stick around on this site and learn alot so I can one day help someone in need like I am.

[Wolfjk]

Hi,
From your dreams you can gather that you are dreaming about what is on your mind. In your sleep your mind wanders onto the things that bother you. Your dream is trying to keep you asleep by creating a story round your thoughts.
Coming off weed needs a big effort and you need to stick to your resulition. The craving and the dreaming about it will gradually become rarer.
Regarding your girlfriend, you have to consider what you have to offer to her. You must know what she wants out of life and if she is beyond what you can offer to her, your best course of action is find someone else. Get yourself a wider social circle and have more interests. Hoping and moping will not do you any good.
Cheers Wolfjk

[Jennings]

Your dream does express mixed feelings mainly about your own inadequacies. You are talking of young love which can be very exciting and what you are suffering from is the symptoms of bereavement and your inability to progress further through the process. Taking any kind of substance (even food) that can have an adverse affect on one is a fool's game but typically you will follow the crowd where you feel more comfortable. If this girl was interested in you she would be making herself available but she apparently feels that you are not the guy for her so allow her to go her way. The reason why you are feeling the way you do is the absence of another interesting female to your life and there are plenty in search of a real nice guy so why are you still clinging like a child to mother's umbilical chord? All of us are capable of loving more than one person and there sure will be someone else who will make your head turn so go out and find her but on doing so make yourself attractive and interesting and manly! Most females do not desire to mother a man; they want Tarzan! The primitive instincts still prevail and man was intended to be a predatory character and not one who seeks refuge behind 'fagends' so be advised.

[Starscream]

On the first subject Jennings, out break up was more then 3 years ago, thats why it is still so bothering that these dreams can effect me like this. I guess you are right as to if she had any interest in my there would be some form of interaction between us.

I hope that my letter has some form of atleast friend bonding effect, because she was a important part of my life during a very evolving time in my youth. I like to think of myself as vastly different from the normal walks of life that go out and about and have a good time.

Could there possibly be a connection as to why I smoked weed with her? I read a quote somewhere on this site that smoking weed can mean letting go of something, or taking the stress away from a speific matter, who that matter be her?