My Husband with another man...

[crazydreamz]

This recent dream has been bothering me on many levels...please help!

In the past 6 months my husband and I have experimented in anal. To my surprise with the his help and patience it was enjoyable. We have never talked about it but have done it a couple of times since the first time....We normally don't talk about our sex life other than in the moment or the day after with a little comment like..wow can we do that again!

So last night I dreamt we were on vacation with friends and I caught him in bed the basement room with of of our male friends. They tried to play it off as if nothing was happening, but it was clear they were having sex.

It was the strangest thing and I don't want to look at that friend any differently because I know it was a dream, but I don't understand the symbols here to figure this one out....

[Varzandeh]

Hi,
men having sex means one will do the other a big favor.
Once two politicians came to my office and locked the door, they asked what have we done to see such a things.
They both had dreams having sex with each other.I said both will do each other big favors in two months.A month later one of them called me the other one who was a housing project manager had granted him a big flat with a low price.

[FlyingMaster]

The most obvious interpetation of the dream is that an underlying fear or perhaps thought about your husband's sexuality has arisen within your dreams. One reason I say this is that you connected your waking life sexual experiences to the dream as a sort of back-story or explanation in your posting. I'm wondering if this new sexual exploration has you questioning your husband's interests. I think its normal for any woman to wonder why their significant other might want that form of sexual experience when we are perfectly satisfied (for the most part) with vaginal sex.

We have never talked about it but have done it a couple of times since the first time....We normally don't talk about our sex life other than in the moment or the day after with a little comment like..wow can we do that again!

The fact that you and your husband don't talk about it, or your sex life in general, might make it difficult to ease any underlying tensions you may feel. If this is on point, I'd suggest broaching the topic with him. Perhaps find out what the draw is for him, what is sexually pleasing about this, get to the bottom of it...this kind of communication could be liberating anyway.

On another note, I'm wondering about the male friend that appeared in the dream. What does this person represent to you? Is his friendship to your husband threatening in any way? Or, was it a random appearance/stand-in male?

[crazydreamz]

Thank you for your comments. I am not sure if it is because I initiated it and it was a huge surprise to him. We tried before and it wasn't happening. Since I knew it was something he wanted to at least try...we figured out what worked for us.

The other male is a friend of both of ours, we met him at the same time. He is a good friend of my husband. The other guy and I do not talk outside of social settings. I do not feel threatened by him in any way either.

I was wondering if I was just feeling strange about the new adventure we explored....I have no clue :-)

[FlyingMaster]

I was wondering if I was just feeling strange about the new adventure we explored....I have no clue :-)

It is possible that you are feeling uncomfortable--I think the intimacy of these kind of moments can be very delicate. I feel that in any sexual act, a person is pretty vulnerable, opening his or her self in such a way to another. To some people, giving oral sex to their partner seems degrading; they don't understand why their partner would want to put them in that situation (with no obvious mutual satisfaction). To some, it seems to be no big deal, just something to get their partner to quit asking. And to others, it is empowering to be able to give that kind of pleasure to someone they care for. I personally think that anal sex creates a scenario where the woman is extremely vulnerable and open and to be able to trust yourself with another in that way can be uncomfortable, but also very rewarding. This brings to mind another possible interpetation of your dream.

I have read that sexual relationships in dreams can signify a deeper connection or the desire for a deeper connection that often times isn't sexual at all. And that people in a dream can represent aspects other than the actual individual present, other aspects of you for example. Taking this possibility into consideration, this dream could represent the new exploration and a connection that you are gaining from it on a deeper level.

They tried to play it off as if nothing was happening, but it was clear they were having sex.

The fact that it occurs "on a vacation" and "down in the basement" could just represent the issue of non-communication--that this experience is one that is not fully incorporated into the daily surface of the relationship.

Another poster on here, Charlotte Spicer, has said that men can often represent the logic side of a dreamer. Her interpetation of that goes much deeper of course and if you wanted to look into it you could search through her past threads. Varzandeh has also indicated in other postings that the time a dream occurs in the night is also significant. That certain hours we dream in don't even signify a deeper meaning at all. However, if you found yourself looking for an interpetation, maybe there is something to this.